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Why are New Muslims Leaving Islam?

“I don’t know if you can help me; I don’t even know where to start. My life is a mess. I’ve been a Muslim for 5 years and each Ramadan instead of increasing in my emaan, I question whether I can continue living as a Muslim. The loneliness I have felt over the last 5 years is one I never felt before I became Muslim. I feel it even more in Ramadan. I receive so many emails about how to complete the Qu’ran in 30 days, how to attain taqwa but I just struggle trying to get through the days.

When I took my shahadah, so many sisters hugged me and gave me their phone numbers but after a few weeks, they didn’t respond to my calls or my messages. I’m so alone, it really hurts. They told me they would help me learn how to pray. I still don’t know how to pray. I’ve tried youtube and books but they don’t work.  I’m really struggling. I phoned my local masjid and they laughed at me after I told them how long I was Muslim and couldn’t pray. I’m so down and alone. I wish I could be like most and look forward to Ramadan. I wish I could read the Koran. I wish I could pray taraweeh. I wish I didn’t feel so alone. I have tried; I went to the masjid to break my fast. But nobody spoke to me. They offered me food and drink but then after praying they just ate in their little circles smiling and laughing. You’re my last attempt – can you help me? I’m desperate.”  Mandy

Sadly, the SOLACE team receive many emails like that of Mandy’s. There’s a sound proportion of revert sisters who receive support and they really work diligently with their SOLACE support workers to make positive change in their lives.  In contrast however, there are sisters like Mandy who disappear despite our willingness to support them. It is as though they are scared to receive support only to be let down for the umpteenth time. As a team, we can only pray and make du’aa that they will meet beautiful sincere Muslims who will help them as they should have been helped during those first few fragile weeks of being a very new Muslim.

The picture for most new reverts is indeed a very positive one. One needs only to attend a shahaadah ceremony and observe the mixture of excitement and nervousness sprawled across the face of the one taking that amazing step; crossing from the fields of kufr into the vastness of tawheed. It is such a joyous moment – both for the new Muslim and for those who are present, witnessing the guidance of Allah unfold in an individual’s life. Most faces are streaming with tears  as their hearts increase in faith in the One and Only Creator, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala).

It is equally overwhelming for the new believer as she is swamped with hugs, kisses, books, hijabs and telephone numbers. There is a sense of a new immediate family, and the fear of what their own non-Muslim family will say and do is subdued by the hope that their new Muslim family will be there no matter what.

Quite tragically, the situation can at times be very different just as Mandy described in her email. More than likely, brothers and sisters that attend a shahaadah ceremony really do have a good intention to keep in touch. Certainly excuses must be made; perhaps they imagined that the new believer has a solid support network, after all, there were so many telephone numbers handed over that day.  Others may be busy in their own lives and feel pressurised with the responsibility of helping a new Muslim. Passing on a few books and CDs is sufficient but what if they needed somewhere to stay?

The sad reality is that too many brothers and sisters leave the responsibility to others assuming that there is enough support when in fact, the new Muslim has absolutely no one to support her. It is at this delicate time that she definitely needs support as the onset of tests pervade her life. It is as though upon uttering the testimony of faith, the new believer is tested to see whether they truly believe as Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) says:

‘…We might test him who believes in the Hereafter from him who is in doubt concerning it: and the Lord watches over all things.’[1]                                                                                                                                          

Had the new Muslim been supported, been shown how to pray, been taught the foundations of Islam and given a firm foundation, been put in touch with a good group of brothers or sisters that took them under their wings and looked after them; they would have had the tools and strength of faith to deal with the tests that face most new Muslims.

Unfortunately, due to a lack of the above at the crucial beginning of their Muslim life, the following types of issues arise which sadly often lead to someone like Mandy entering Islam with zeal and belief and leaving it weeks, months or years later with hatred and disbelief…

Rejection by family

A large number of new Muslims experience negative reactions from their non-Muslim relatives.  The experiences vary from being ignored, physically removed from the family home, and we have even received cases of others who were locked up and beaten by relatives. It is at this time that support from Muslims is crucially needed. However, many new Muslims endure these tests with their family with minimal support or understanding from members of the Muslim community. Often, the rejection and abuse received at the hands of family members is too much for some and they succumb to the pressure of leaving Islam feeling that they have no other alternative because all the brothers and sisters disappeared and hence there is no other alternative.

Choosing a wrong spouse

Many brothers and sisters feel that there is a simple quick fix for the new Muslim who has been abandoned by their own relatives: To get married and get married quickly! This is the case more so with female reverts than their male counterparts. The sister is struggling to learn Surah Al Fatihah and before she knows it, she is flooded with recommendations of pious brothers who are looking to get married, brothers who could help her on her path. She is given a good breakdown of what characteristics constitute a good Muslim husband; one who wears trousers above his ankles and observes a beard. Well-meaning sisters persuade the new Muslim to marry their own recommendation with choruses of ‘Trust me, my husband has known him for years – he’s a good practising brother!’ Regrettably, there is no mention of his character, likes and dislikes and the likelihood of compatibility. Two or three meetings are conducted by a wali (guardian) appointed at the last minute. The nikaah takes place in a small room within the masjid.  Non-Muslim relatives who have not abandoned their daughters, look on in dismay as their dreams of their daughter’s wedding is shattered. Or the new Muslim takes the next most important step in her life without the knowledge of her non-Muslim relatives.

Months down the line, still struggling to learn how to pray, she is either divorced or living a very miserable married life. Years down the line, we find that she has remarried four to five times in the same manner as more brothers and sisters pity her and persuade her into thinking that marriage will solve her problems. Children are born into this situation and live with a mother who is severely depressed with only one visible sign of Islam – her hijab.  It is only a matter of time before the last sign of Islam is removed and she seeks peace and tranquillity in her old lifestyle or religion.

This example may seem extreme to many but shockingly this is the reality for many new Muslims.

Moving towards an extreme version of Islam

Zeal and passion for Islam is evident in many new Muslims. Like sponges, they are eager to learn, absorb and implement. There seems to be a misconstrued silent rule that upon entering Islam, a complete rejection of everything that came before is required. With an ‘all or nothing’ mentality, she severs family ties as she cannot live her life surrounded by ‘kaafirs’.  Clothes are put into bin bags and phone numbers are changed. Within a few days, the new believer changes from wearing jeans to completely covering from head to toe in black. The new Muslim believes she is moving in the correct direction as she receives impressed compliments from other sisters. Shortly down the line, those initial strict immediate changes begin to show its cracks as she wonders why she feels no connection, deep faith or tranquility in her salaah. She wonders why her heart feels dead and why she now craves to go back to the life that she once led.

Confused, depressed and with only a speck of emaan left in her heart, she wonders what to do. She cannot return to her family whom she cut ties with. In addition to the strained relationships she has with other sisters and the sisterhood, the  marriage she is in which is full of constant arguments and depression – with all this, she makes an all or nothing choice again and leaves Islam altogether.

There are so many other issues that could be highlighted within this article. But the purpose of this article is not to depress the readers but to portray the other side of the New Muslim’s life which often goes unheard.

Ramadhan is a time where many reverts feel very alone. We know that the purpose of Ramadhan is not to socialise but rather it is to attain taqwa of Allah. However, we must try to view Ramadhan from the perspective of a new believer. Coming from a very non-Muslim sociable lifestyle, there are very few chances to really socialise. Ramadhan is seen by many reverts as a time to be with others, to share, eat and grow together. When this is not present, stark truths are deeply felt and the new Muslim begins to realise them; the family they lost upon entering Islam, their lack of Muslim friends and as a result, the huge social void in their lives begins to emerge.

Fasting those first few times without much needed encouragement to make it until iftar is a huge mountain to climb and so many new Muslims give up and break their fasts intentionally. This results in them living the rest of Ramadhan truly believing that they will never be forgiven, that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) hates them and that they are destined for the hellfire.

Observing large extended families coming together, enjoying iftar, attending taraweeh prayer together and preparing for the equivalent of Christmas, Eid Al Fitr, is quite a depressing time as they realise yet again that they are all alone.

Eid is the most dreaded time of the year. Since they are no longer attending family functions such as weddings, birthday parties, and religious festivities, they hope that Eid would be a joyous occasion to share with others. However, some deliberately choose not to leave their homes on Eid, unable to witness everyone else’s happiness at the Eid salaah knowing that they will be returning home alone. 

How can brothers and sisters make a difference this Ramadhan and Eid? More importantly, how can brothers and sisters support reverts throughout the whole year so that the rate of apostasy is widely reduced? Here are some tips that we hope every reader will try to implement with at least one revert whom they know:
  • Invite a revert around for iftar. Call them and ask after them. Do not assume that they are fine or even fasting. It doesn’t matter how long they have been Muslim. Really show that you care about them.
  • Give a gift to a revert this Eid. It will build the love between you both and can have a lasting effect in their perception of Muslims at a time when they might be going through a difficult time.
  • Share a part of your Eid day with a revert; even if it is just for one hour. Really go out of your way to make it a special time for them.
  • Besides Ramadhan and Eid, one of the most important ways you can help a revert is to help them build a very solid foundation in their deen. Bring them closer to Allah and help them develop a strong relationship with their Creator. This step is probably the most crucial as it marks the difference in how they deal with the various tests that will come their way.
  • Do not look at a revert in terms of how long they have been Muslim. Remember that they spent twenty, thirty or even forty years with certain thoughts, and practices that were completely alien to Islam. The psychological transition into a completely different way of life can take years.
  • Dedicate yourself to really helping at least one revert Muslim for life – help them learn how to pray, share good and difficult times together, attend lectures together – seek knowledge together. Commit yourself to helping them for life.

Update:


MESSAGE FROM UMM RAIYAAN (copied from comments section below)
ssalamuu alaykum,

As a SOLACE team we are grateful to Allah (Swt) first and foremost for the opportunity to create awareness about the difficulties reverts face. islam21c.com has been an amazing platform to further this type of awareness and we would also like to thank islam21.com for offering us the chance to contribute towards their articles.There are several organisations that support very new Muslims and try to help them during the crucial initial weeks and months. However, there is a huge number of reverts, some of whom who have been Muslim for 10+ years, who no longer seem to be labelled as a new Muslim who need just as much if not more support. For SOLACE, it is those who do not fall into the wonderful hands of organisations such as iERA and others that we tend to support.Sadly, to date we have received 80+ requests of help this year alone.If you would like to support SOLACE – you can do so through the following methods:

1. By forwarding this article as much as possible.
2. By joining our mailing list at www.solaceuk.org and forwarding campaign alerts, testimonials etc in a bid to also increase awareness.
3. Volunteer your time to work with SOLACE
4. Donate – we are solely funded by the kind donations by brothers and sisters.
5. We are definitely looking to expand nationwide and internationally due to a large number of outside London cases.As we are a grassroots organisation, we are constantly working at the ‘front line’ directly with service users and so our work really does never stop.

JazakhaAllahu khairan for your help,
On behalf of all of the SOLACE team,
Wasalamu alaykum
Umm Raiyaan
Director of SOLACE

 

 


Sources: www.islam21c.com

Notes: Visit www.solaceuk.org and donate generously to their cause.. SOLACE is an organisation that was set up to support female revert sisters in difficulty. Our mission is to aim to ensure that no revert sister goes through difficulties in her life unsupported, by providing the holistic support she needs to move forward and by enabling her to strengthen and maintain her faith and closeness to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Please support us in what we do in trying to support them and show them the beauty and perfection of Islam once again. 

Islam21c requests all the readers of this article, and others, to share it on your facebooktwitter, and other platforms to further spread our efforts.

[1] quran 34:21

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About Umm Raiyaan

153 comments

  1. Assalamu alaikum Please fear ALLAH swain our words and actions

  2. I am going through a similar thing as sister Mandy.
    Can anyone help me feel like I have a family this ramadan? Please.

  3. Assalaium Warahmatulahi Wabarakatuhu Sister. Please e-mail me ilyaaaaaass@gmail.com, In Shaa Allah I will try to help. You can also look at my Instagram account @akhi_dawah and my YouTube account Akhi_Dawah, if you wish. As this year’s Ramadan of 1436 approaches, I will be taking time off of social media, but you can still e-mail although. JazakAllah Khair!

  4. Noor of Allah

    AssalamuAlaikum

    Central Mosque or Regent Park Mosque do a lot for new Muslims.

    Islamic Circle on Saturday at 3.00pm – for anyone.

    http://www.iccuk.org/page.php?section=religious&page=circles
    http://www.iccuk.org/page.php?section=nmp&page=nmp
    http://www.iccuk.org/page.php?section=contact&page=nm_salaah

    Wasalams

  5. I am deeply saddened to read this article and in a way I relate to it as I never received any help from Muslim sisters. I attended a New Muslim Circle a few times but somehow felt like an outsider. Luckily I had my hubby and his family to back me up. I learned how to pray myself and gained a lot of knowledge from youtube and different websites. I can only imagine how lonely life as a new Muslim must be for those who do not have any Muslim friends or family/spouses. In my opinion Mosques that take the Shahada from New Muslims should assign a fellow Muslim as a sort of guardian and friend to the New Muslim to make sure he/she does receive help and would not end up being lonely during Ramadan/Eid or altogether leaving Islam.

    Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh and may Allah look after you,
    Imaan

    • AssalamuAlaikom

      Jazakillahu Khairan. I was very saddened by the article as well.
      I very much like the idea you proposed … assigning a person to every new muslim who take the Shahadah in the mosque itself.

      We have the example of the prophet (SAW) who, when the muhajireen came to Madinah weak and poor, he (SAW) assigned for every muslim from the muhajireen a brother from the Ansar of the Madinah. .. We do need to do that again…
      Families should open their doors and take just one new muslim.

      Dear brothers and sisters this is an opportunity to serve the deen by xtending your help for the new muslims.

      This Amanah …. what are we going to say to Allah when these new pure souls complain to Allah.

      May Allah bless you

  6. There should be fairness in everything.

    Whenever I meet a convert Muslim, almost always, I hear what has been repeated again and again here and elsewhere – the “born Muslims…”. Be fair! Allah is Fair and loves fairness.

    I do not defend the “born Muslims” against legitimate criticisms – indeed there are plenty of these, which is why we are in the state we are in, instead of leading the mankind. Even with our faults these ‘born Muslims’ are some of the most generous people you will ever come across, but when the “new Muslims” relate their stories, they are very quick to forget these Muslims. Secondly, often when someone becomes a Muslim, they come with an expectation that the role of ‘born Muslims’ is to give and their role is to take.

    However, those “new Muslims” who have taken it as a two-way process and have taken their own duties and responsibilities seriously have ended up leading the Ummah – there are so many examples of this, like Sh Yousef Estas and AbdurRahim Green to give couple of examples. I never hear these people complaining about their fellow Muslims; instead they are leading and helping them.

    Lastly, consider that the best of the Ummah were all converts – Khadija, Abu Bakr, Umar… (May Allah be pleased with them all). What made them best? Their environment was similar, if not worse than ours.

    Let us unite as Muslims – new or born – we will all return to Allah regardless.

  7. Dear Muslim Brothers /Sister,
    As Salaamu Alaikum In the name of Almighty Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful the most compassionate! my name is Osman Mohamad I’m 17 years old i was born and brought up as a Christians but today I’m so happy to become a true Muslim I was converted to Muslim on 15th of March 2014 but since then I having big problem with my family and people in
    My community because they did not know what they are doing all my family think that
    Muslims are terrorist I always try to put them long because Islam is the only true religion of ‘Allah’ not a terrorism religion all my family member had a meeting last time to chase me out of house with police and on the day I was sent out of family one of the police man asked my family why do you abandoned your own son my family response yes we do because he is terrorist i was abandoned and unwanted person because I was converted to Muslim
    I’m Facing a difficult Situation here I don’t have a house even to continue my education is a problems to me
    I’m writing this letter to ask for your financial support please I do need your help in this area. May Allah’s blessings be showered on you and your family and May the best prayers, and most abundant peace, be upon our exemplar Muhammad (The Prophet), and upon his family and companions.
    By grace of Allah I look forward to hearing from you soon
    With peace,
    Osman Mohamad
    osmanmohamad880@gmail.com

  8. Abdullah An Noman

    Assalamualaikum dear Mandy (and all those who are feeling the same like Mandy), I really really want to help people like you as much as I can from my position. So please feel free to contact me. InshaAllah (God willing) I will try my best to engage. May Allah guide us all. My email address: nomandhaka192@yahoo.com

  9. Esselam aleykum,
    brothers and sisters our wrong actions and falsities mainly arise from our weak eeman. thus the main solution is to strenthen it by exercising/studying our holy book and practising it. another factor is the nevironment . if you have the wrong friends you do wrong things Allah SWT says in the quran
    وَمَنْ يُطِـعِ اللّٰهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَاُو۬لٰٓئِكَ مَعَ الَّذ۪ينَ اَنْعَمَ اللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيّ۪نَ وَالصِّدّ۪يق۪ينَ وَالشُّهَدَٓاءِ وَالصَّالِح۪ينَۚ وَحَسُنَ اُو۬لٰٓئِكَ رَف۪يقاًۜ
    And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger – those will be with the ones upon whom Allah has bestowed favor of the prophets, the steadfast affirmers of truth, the martyrs and the righteous. And excellent are those as companions. We should be friends with the good people in this life too. bad friends divert you from the true path. for those who would like to try I am giving short links of some helpful websites. MAY ALLAH SUBHANHU WA TEALA GUIDE US ALL ON HIS STARIGHT WAY AND EEMAN. AMIN.

    RISALE-I NUR COLLECTION – SAID NURSI
    http://www.nur.gen.tr/en.html#leftmenu=Risale&maincontent=Risale&islem=read&BolumId=8473&KitapId=456&KitapAd=The+Words

  10. Sadly male converts (yes, I wrote converts not reverts, there is a semantic and theological difference. Born-again Muslims are reverts) also find themselves alone and try to find a solution in marriage.

    This is much more difficult for the male due to cultural reasons we are all well aware of. Several convert men I know simply opt for marrying kitabi women to avoid clan interference.

    When one does finally jump through the hoops and is allowed to marry a spoilt little Moghul princess then one finds out she’s been raised as a prude, and invariably has a personality disorder. Now what does one do? Divorce? Suffer a breakdown? The second case happened to me.

    As for the condescending and theologically ill-informed quip, “Crossing from the fields of kufr into the vastness of tawheed.”, oh please! Get off your high horse. I never covered the truth prior to converting to Islam, because I didn’t know about the message. Few are those who intentionally cover the truth after it’s made known coherently and comprehensively.

  11. One of the most negative things that converts encounter is the behaviour of born Muslims. Having embraced Islam more than thirty years ago and studied in Islamic University, I translate Islamic books. The first publisher I dealt suddenly decided to stop paying me royalties, though he continues to live off my work. The second pays me whenever he feels like, frequently leaves me and my family without funds in ‘Eid and leaves me without work for extended periods of time. My emails are are routinely ignored. I praise and thank Allah that I embraced Islam before encountering born Muslims. I know that there are good born Muslims, but they are outnumbered by those who are not.

  12. Umar Abu Safia

    We know that the purpose of Ramadhan is not to socialise but rather it is to attain taqwa of Allah. However, we must try to view Ramadhan from the perspective of a new believer. Coming from a very non-Muslim sociable lifestyle, there are very few chances to really socialise
    ——-
    I became muslim in 1999,in Latvia where lives about 500-600 muslims.If somebody becam muslim to socialise or enjoy life then Allāh dont need him,if some one became muslim to please Allāh and get paradise ,Allāh will support him and he will not care what his kuffar relativs do about him.
    Now I live in Luton 5 years in my phone book i have 5-6 phone nummbers 3 of whom is my wife and doughters.And I am hapy thet nobody invite me to iftar or Eid,less people you know less problems you have.
    I sombody is muslim 5 years and do not know how to pray ?!its not enibodies fault but his.
    sory for my english.

  13. I have learn a few just right stuff here.

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  14. Assalamo Aleikom,

    I am a Muslim lady who lives in Edmonton and would be more than happy to help any lady who is a new revert and feels lonely and desperate to learn how to live as a Muslim. I can speak Arabic, English and German. However German is my weakest as I did not practise it for a very long time. However, I can still understand it very well. I helped other reverts in other cities before, but I am new to Edmonton so don’t know yet anyone to help. Please, feel free to contact me by email first, then we can meet at a public place and have a talk inshaalllah. My email is: dafeldib at hotmail dot com. Make the title clear, such that I can identify your email even if it ended up in my junk…

    Best Wishes,
    Dalia

  15. assalamualaikum wrh wbr,

    my email address is sysanusi@hotmail.com

    insyaAllah, i’ll try to help.

  16. I will love to have a helping hand whoever needs me to assist in anyway in learning islam.

  17. Hi I’m from rochdale in regards to this post I found it very difficult to read also painfull if eny one needs help ring this number I will point you in right direction and i will do my up most to help InshaAllah
    07779647697 pls ring solely if your in situation in regards to the above post Jazakallah khair

  18. There is app called meetup which has several different meet up groups and meet regularly. It’s not the best way of increasing your imaan but it does help know that your are in Muslim circles with Muslims from different level of understanding whom can make you feel part of a group.

    I have very bad social skills and I have been to retreats and also i felt like the sister did.

    I don’t blame anyone and I feel it’s my fault for shortfall in social skills. Anyways may Allah guide us all. Ameen

  19. Hello,

    I’ve read many of the stories here (though not all) and I find these pretty sad. I have seen no stories so far, somewhat mirroring my own experience.

    What I have experienced is basically the opposite of what some revert brothers/sisters may have face after being so-called “extremist.” Meaning I have never have been “extremist” nor have ever really identified with them (although as I later found out, the so called “extremism” always was and is apparently the “True” Islam; nor was I ever a Madkhali or an extremist Sufi/grave worshiper or even worse, at least I guess from a Sunni POV, a Shia Rafidhi).

    And as far as getting help with the many questions that I had, especially when things in the news were making headlines, making me wonder if these things were part of Islam, no matter how many shuyookh or imams I would talk to, or try to clarify things with, to try to get answers from, etc., in my experiences at least, they were ALWAYS extremely overly cautious, sensitive, scared, and just plain fearful of what they said to me and would be very, very much “afraid” to even answer my questions even if I used very vague hypotheticals (not ever taking about current events or even any of the various countries or nations), but talking in the sense of group A or B or C, and the family from group A or B or C, etc., responding to group A or B or C, or even asking what did the Sahaba or RasoolAllah do in similar situations.

    Okay, I will get to the point as far as what questions I have and had that basically NO SINGLE shaykh or Imam would help me to understand more about, let alone give me a YES or NO answer to (and again I spoke in very vague generalities)…

    The things that were very much confusing me, making me wonder, and starting to make me have doubts, etc., were one of the things that are the most precious to our Creator, that being the life and blood of human beings whether Muslim or non-Muslim. And I was wondering how could people that were innocent of crimes committed by other people, even children and babies, pay for the sins of OTHER PEOPLE. This was not Christianity in which God would supposedly require “death” of his so called son – Jesus son of Mary – to pay for the sins of other people in the world. That in a Christian context sure as hell made no damn sense (and I came from a Christian background!), so I really couldn’t believe that Islam (although obviously in a different way) was teaching a very similar thing!

    I am taking about INTENTIONALLY targeting non-combatant non-Muslims INCLUDING WOMEN, CHILDREN and BABIES. And ALWAYS, ALWAYS the perpetrators or their supporters were using the same Ayat from the Qur’an OVER AND OVER to justify these acts, saying that these acts were 100% Halaal and from the Qur’an and Sunnah. The Ayat that they always used to justify these (at the time in my mind evil, despicable, heinous) acts were any of the Qisaas (equal retaliation) verses. For example: “Then whoever transgresses the prohibition against you, you transgress likewise against him. And fear Allah, and know that Allah is with the pious.” 2:194

    While I used to believe that the majority of Muslims that believed in these acts and would ALWAYS JUSTIFY these acts were self identified “SJs,” other Sunni Muslims also seemed to always justify these acts and use the same verses from the Qur’an. So it’s not just SJs who believe that this is REAL and TRUE Islam, but basically all Sunni Muslims (minus maybe the “Sufis” but they also believe in a lot of very shirky crazy stuff! Of course the palace scholars and the “Madkhalis” seemed to not believe in this stuff) And this is what these groups of Muslims STILL to this moment say and believe: If the Kuffar kill noncombatant women and children (and obviously they have with all of their unjust wars and attacks) then MUSLIMS ALSO NOW have the right to intentionally kill Kaafir non-combatants including women, CHILDREN, and BABIES. Of course when you ask them what about the ahadeeth from RasoolAllah that prohibit the intentional killing of non-combatant Kaafir women and children (and some narrations even talk about day laborors and ascetic Monks), then the ulema’ and the people that are always supporting these acts say that these ahadeeth are intended for general purposes, and not intended for specific times or exceptions, such as when Muslims do decide to retaliate against the non-Muslims. And NO I’m NOT talking about women and children that are fighters (they wouldn’t be non-combatants anymore!), nor am I talking about “collateral damage” (obviously this is NOT intentional).

    But the question I would always ask (to myself and also to any imams/shuyookh) is why would Muslims have a right to kill innocent people who had NOTHING AT AL TO DO WITH THE INITIAL KILLING OF INNOCENT MUSLIMS IN THE FIRST PLACE? Meaning how could the Kuffar killing innocent non-combatant Muslims (whether women, children or babies) give Muslims the right to NOW go after and commit the same type of evil, heinous and despicable acts against another group of people who had again, NOTHING to do with the original crime?

    I would always ask, WHY NOT TARGET THE INITIAL KAAFIR COMBATANT(S) who were actually responsible for the crime? (If not them, then at least their other co-military combatants (SOLDIERS) who are professional killers and actually are paid to kill other people, and they even admit that they don’t mind dying for their country or for democracy, etc.?) I had thought that that’s what Qisaas meant. The had thought the “transgressor” that you punished was referring to the initial one guilty of the crime (THE ACTUAL PERPETRATOR) NOT his cousin, his daughter, his wife, his BABY, or ANY ONE else OTHER THEN HIM (or Her).

    However, after searching for years (including online), and no shuyookh or imams willing or even knowledgable enough, and honestly too damn afraid and cowardly to answer any of my questions, or concerns, I finally came across the ONLY person that helped to refute (temporally) what I was being told (and to this day, this is the only person willing to go on record that I’m aware of, explaining things in a very thorough manner, not scared to contradict one of the biggest names this Ummah had seen, at least before his death [ibn Uthaymeen], in the last 20 or 30 + years or so, of course while being very respectful to him), and he had a paper written up on his website which basically answered the things that I seemed to have issues with and questions about and that was Sh. Abu Basir at-Tartoosi, in which he uses many of the the arguments that the Muslims (whether Ulema or laymen) are always using, and at least back then, IMO it did seem to refute the mainstream Muslim opinion in a pretty convincing manner.

    I do understand that many Muslims in essence have since made takfeer (or came close) of this brother accusing him of being a “munafiq,” and having extreme issues of ‘irja (being too liberal, etc.), as he did condemn the 7-7 London bombings, saying they were haraam, he did not think that 9-11 was the greatest thing since sliced bread (as the vast majority of Sunni Muslims seem to think this was the case; personally I guess this was a red flag for me because even after I became Muslim, I never thought that this was a good thing… I knew that the zionists/Yahood and the Crusaders would use this one incident, 9-11, as a pretext to basically have a world wide war against Islam, and at the very least, the various ZOGs would use this as a pretext to get the West to fight all of Israel’s enemies (various “Muslims”) whether real or perceived. IMO, this has ONLY BENEFITED the Yahood/zionism, and other enemies of the Truth, although I know virtually no Muslim agrees with my assessment), and he has taken a stance on suicide bombing that the majority of Muslims (aside from the most of the Madkhalis, and the Sufis) seem to vehemently disagree with.

    With all that said though Sh. Abu Baseer at Tartoosi to be honest while very knowledgeable, brave, intelligent, and I believe absolutely very sincere about the deen, however is not considered a true alim or expert in the deen. So does it really matter what one person says compared to thousands of other shuyookh and imams, or the ulema? Does it really matter what one “fringe” shaykh may believe when compared to the consensus of thousands of ulema? No (even if he was an alim)…

    Unfortunately (as he was going against the mainstream opinion of the ulema) I had to conclude that he is/was wrong in his stance on Qisaas or the issue of Muslims having the right to intentionally being able to target and kill as many non-combatant women, children, and yes, babies, as they wanted to.

    In fact one of the most popular Salafi Shaykhs (Shaykh Yusuf Al-Uyayri) said in the aftermath of the incident of 9-11, that Muslims have the right to INTENTIONALLY slaughter millions of non-combatant women, children, and elderly, and this was before any of the post 9-11 wars started. And as I said earlier (as have other countless ulema over and over) he was basing EVERYTHING on the various al-Qisaas verses.

    So I guess the lesson I learned was that Islam pretty much does give Muslims a green light to kill ANYONE in the world they want (as long as they are Non-Muslims) including non-combatant women, children, and babies. The Muslim can ALWAYS say that this was 100% Halaal, because of equal retaliation (Qisaas).

    Of course many Muslims (and all SJs pretty much) also say that they can target any Kaafir non-combatant because that Kaafir lives in a “democracy,” or that they pay taxes, and that this is in of itself all the daleel they need to make the blood of all Kuffar residing in these countries halaal, although to be fair, this concept is a bit more controversial as compared to the consensus opinion of the right of Muslims being able to use the concept of al-Qisaas as the reason to have a blank check to be able to target any non-Muslim that he/she wants to.

    There are always justifications, no matter how you look at it. And yes if Muslims were to kill big, tough, armed to the bone invading combatant non-Muslims (i.e. Crusaders) say driving in a tank who have innocent Muslim blood on their hands, say while they were occupying a Muslim country – to the vast majority of Muslims, targeting and killing them would be equal to targeting non-combatant women and children riding on a train or riding a bus or shopping at a mall. The sick thing is that most Muslims would say that these 2 hypothetical targets are 100% equal. I’m sorry but to me this makes no damn sense. How can anyone say that armed military combatants are NOT hypothetically a better target then non-combatant women, children or babies?

    I’m freaking tired of asking these damn questions, and have come to accept that this is the TRUE and REAL Islam. So before you all condemn the Zionist Yahoodi terrorists for their EVIL, barbaric, heinous, and yes, satanic killing of hundreds if not thousands of innocent Gazans (the Zionist terrorists seem to do this every few years or so), you should realize that Islam allows the same exact thing to be done. (i.e. intentionally killing thousands of non-combatant non-Muslims, including children and babies) THE SAME EXACT THING.

    • Nice try, Mr MI5/Daily Mail. Your painting of a view that practically no scholar has ever had, as a unanimous ‘sunni’ moslem consensus, is not going to get very far on this website, people here aren’t ignorant enough to fall for that.

      • Well why don’t you prove me wrong! Look, it’s very hard to express myself and even get any kind of answers!!! I have spent more than 10 years trying to get answers, subhanAllah!!!! On yaawm alqiyaamah, I hope all of the shuyookh and Talib ul ilm will be asked by Allah why they NEVER cared about me enough or loved me enough as their supposed Muslim brother to answer my questions!!! Where am I wrong?!! I WANT TO BE WRONG!!!! Don’t you see how hard it is to express my doubts??? To express my lack of eeman?

        How am I wrong about Qisaas?? Why should someone OTHER THAN the guilty have to be punished? Don’t you think that this is unfair???

        All of the ulema from the Arabian peninsula (and others incl the Deobandi ulema from the subcontinent) since the times of Sh Abdul Wahhab (ra) have said this, am I wrong about this? I want to be corrected. Please show me!

        Please help me. please all Muslims that have a soft heart, please help me. I’m begging..,

        Please again prove I’m wrong about Qisaas. I’m begging any brothers or sisters. Please help me

        • Go back to the basics brother.
          The Qur’an is the exact words of our Creator. We don’t doubt that. Muhammad (saw) brought the Quran to us: no doubt about it. He also brought Islam to us, and the Quran indicates we should follow his way of life. This we know.
          There is no evil in the deen of Allah, so don’t let the Shaytaan torture you into believing you have spotted some. The rules of combat are very strict and of course include no killing of non-combatants, or even destructiion of crops or trees. Look up qisaas in a reliable tafseer; I’m sure it’s a governing law not a licence to kill! Anyone can take one ayaat out of context and use it to justify their crimes, but the true life of a Muslim lies in 5 regular and timely prayers, reading Qur’an, upholding in his daily life every sunnah and dua he can learn; kindness, cleanliness, social responsibility, abstinence, charity etc. – copying the everyday life of the Prophet (saw) to please Allah.
          The news, and the many allegations of “terrorist” activities can be very confusing, but the people that make the news are wealthy and powerful. They are so because they have got to the top of the capitalist way of life. Who could be more motivated to discredit the only other viable way of life in the world? So do not expect the truth from them-who knows who really did those things and why? Instead expect good from Allah’s way of life – He does not tell us to do evil.
          I went through a peiod of my life when Allah made it impossible for me to find the answers I desperately needed, or even ask the questions! I was forced to turn to Allah and say, “O Allah, You know everything and I know very little and comprehend even less. I have clearly displeased You so accept my repentance. I trust You completely to guide me aright and I have no power to discern on my own. I leave the matter in Your Hands.” Then I returned to mainstream Islam, humbled and with my clever questions unanswered, yet dismissed.
          Don’t get bogged down in the horrifying evils of this world, and don’t expect Allah ta’ala to provide you with explanations for every aspect of the world you are curious about. Trust Allah to guide you to what you need to know, and focus on your daily ibaada. A modern maxim is, ‘Don’t beat the darkness with a stick, turn on a light’. Shine the goodness in Islam all around you and it will have more effect than all those wicked people and their explosions.
          La hawla wa laa quuwata illa billah. If Allah isn’t letting you find the answer, focus on what you do know for sure, like salah, dhikr, charity and La ilaha illallah; make dua for the answers you want; then trust and be patient.
          By the way 1,000 ‘astaghfirullah’ takes less than 20 minutes and makes a noticeable difference to your day.
          I am no scholar, may Allah bring benefit from my words and forgive me if I have made any mistakes.

        • mohammed Amjad

          Aslam ala kum mandy. I felt really sad at having read your life experience. There is nothing worse than having embrace islam, then not having any support to the life change questions that it through at you. I am muslim leaving and practising inBirmingham England. My email adds is mohammedamjad@hotmail.co.uk. you are more tjen welcome to contact me when ever, you need some help or advice. May Allah help makeyour ttransition easier.

    • If you read the Quran you would know.

      Killing 1 person is like killing all of mankind

      You can’t even kill militants if they have retreated, you can only kill those who are directly attacking you.

  20. I am muslim from algeria,
    it really upset me the situation you re in, because our duty is to support each other
    I first time visiting an islamic forum , as a muslim I would like to give help for anybody to find his way out of darkness, read Quran, learn arabic and so on.
    salam

  21. its hard I came from a community where everyone knew my name…..my grandmother.. my mother…my whole family….you get used to worshiping in a community …….the masjid …depressing

  22. I would say that a lot of times it’s the husbands fault as they mix islam with culture. The wifes get tired and it makes theme leave islam.

  23. Many Muslims think that their job stops at getting someone to take their Shahada. After I took mine in 2008 I kept in contact with the Muslim who convinced me to convert to Islam. I asked him if he could get me transportation to mosques and Islamic conventions, and he just made up a bunch of excuses. He runs a website and posts a bunch of videos on Youtube, so people can see how he’s such a great person.
    I also moved temporarily as I am in the military to a base that is now closed. I called the Islamic center for about a week till I finally got an answer. I made my way over there myself, and the Brother I met there was very helpful. He got me the number of another Muslim who could drive me around. Initially this other Brother took me to the Mosque, but eventually he too started making up excuses for why he couldn’t give me rides. Then he began ignoring my phone calls and texts altogether.
    If there are any born-Muslims out there, I would like for you to tell me why you are like this towards people wanting to becoming Muslim.

  24. Raissa Aminuddin Mohamad

    Assalamu Alaykum dear brothers n sisters!!!

    I saw the article,n really its very sad the situation of our sister/brother.Im from Mozambique I born musslim n raised up as a musslim my father is a most fluent Sheikh here in our country so Alhamdulillah we could be say we are blessed.I would like to help any sister who needs the help to learn the deen to establish new relationship im ready to transmit whatever I know for u sisters,today the technology is very advanced that we could teach or speak at any time with any one in different continents.

    plz leaving here my email don hesitate to contact me,i got a busy life yes im studyin workin n married but I still got a heart 😉

    raissa_mohamad@yahoo.com.br

  25. Salam.

    Please get in touch with me Mandy!

    Jazakallah khair!

  26. Maybe i couldn’t help much. But if the new brothers or sisters wanted to learn some basic quran or how to perform salah, you can add me on my facebook, aiman tajuddin from malaysia, and i would give you my skype, so i could teach you face to face..jazakallah..

  27. too bad there is no solace in usa

  28. This website contains a large and ever-growing repository of tutorials on the Arabic language اللغة العربية. Here you can learn to read Arabic, write Arabic, learn Arabic numbers, learn to conjugate Arabic verbs, delve into Arabic grammar, and much more.

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  29. Asalama aliyakum,
    I’m a (Newish)revert brother. Been a revert for 7 months now. I’m 21 years old. white british. and I’m having a lot of difficulty in the deen at the moment. I have come from a very high eaman to being close to renouncing Islam as my faith altogether. I am suffering from doubt in regards to a few topics I need to be cleared up. Not sure if you can help me thru this time as I want to stay in the folds of islam.
    Any advice or direction would be great insha’Allah.

    • Asalaam walaikum is gud to grow ur imaan especialy in ramadaan may allah help u more nothing hard in islam everything is easy insh’allah try ur best

    • My friend what are you struggling with maybe I can help you inshallah.

    • there is a forum for muslims called http://www.islamicboard.com
      there is a mix of all knowledge regarding islam on there
      ask your questions and others will respond to you as best they can
      try to get a scholarship to study somewhere like the middle east or algeria to study the deen in arabic

    • Assalamualaikom Brother/sister

      Congratulations on joining the Ummah of th last and final messeneger of Allah.

      Believe brother you are way in a better position than those in the previous ummahs.
      They have been through difficult tests and they have not lost their eiman, or trust in Allah…

      My advice for you is few things to share ( tips ) ….
      1 – be patient as you learn, and stick to the prayers and Duaa, and dhikr ( remembrance of Allah) … these are the weapons you need to face any difficulty you might encounter.

      2- trust the creator not the creation.. put your trust in Allah … and search for really good muslims to have as your trusted network… do not blame the not so good muslims ….. instead pray for them and keep searching for the good company. where to find the m ??? ( mosques, during Fajr and Asar and ishaa prayers – especially the FAJR ONE :)

      3 – Stay away form the shytaan (always reading ayatulkursi morning and night) and alsoo stay away from the negative people and protect yourself from the anti-islamic propaganda … you are learning and do not want distractions at this stage.

      May Allah bless you and strengthen your iman.

  30. Assalaamualaikum
    This article is so saddening and I thank you for posting it. I am too a revert for 4 years now. It can be very lonely throughout Ramadhan so I can understand how Mandy feels, however I don’t feel like leaving Islam at all Alhamdulillah. For me the upsetting part is on Eid day, my family are unaware of me being muslim, so I do still have them but I don’t if that makes sense, because I can’t celebrate with them at all. I think it’s the whole being alone thing is the reason why I haven’t told my family yet. I do have a partner of which he is haraam Astaghfirullah and I know very well this has and will raise a lot of issues from fellow muslims, but he is the one I am going to marry this year Insha’Allah and I think I am waiting to tell my family just before I get married so that I don’t really lose a lot as I will be gaining a family too Insha’Allah, but by doing this restricts me from learning how to pray namaaz (when my fellow muslim friends ask I feel ashamed because I think they may be thinking “oh you’ve been a muslim for ages now so why can’t you”) or anything that is Islam related or even wearing the hijab which is quite difficult as I just want to do everything but I feel so bad as I could reach my full potential but I’m not..it’s just the fear of “losing everything”, I know it might sound silly because I should only fear Allah Subhaanahu Wa Ta’ala and instead of feeling alone I should know that I never am because Allah Subhaanahu Wa Ta’ala is protecting me and guiding me Insha’Allah and instead of losing I’m gaining everything instead. I think it is more of a mind thing, as my deen is strong Alhamdulillah and can see my future with a pious husband and having children and living the way of an Islamic life Insha’Allah but I’ve wrote this because I just need some advice really on what to do…
    JazakAllah

  31. Pretty! This has been a really wonderful post. Thank you for
    supplying these details.

  32. mohammed ashfaq iqbal saqibi

    if you are giving them a wahabi aqeda then definetly they are going to leave islam give the the sufi aqeda and witness the result

  33. Asalaamualaikum. You said ‘ Islam is not about hugs or family or friends this is a belief and conviction to which you hold on to until you die regardless of what comes your way. You don’t come to Islam for the people and you don’t leave it for the people’.
    If only it was as cut and dried. Don’t forget a new Muslim is constantly being attacked by shaytan. Now as strong as said revert may be, over a prolonged period of time loneliness can be an easy way for shaytan to get in.
    When I became Muslim alhamdulillah, I found the non practising Muslims were better to me that the ‘practising’ ones. All I got from them was cultural advice and pressure. Eventually after a few years of battling endlessly with the ‘community’ and not being allowed to even pray in any of the masjids I took off my hijab and left the path.
    Yet despite this I never left Allah, even when no longer practising. I cried every night until I realised I still loved the religion, just not the people. Astagfirullah.

    Now over ten years on I am fully practising and look back on those days with such sadness. So what I am saying is that no we don’t revert for people but yes people can certainly play a large hand in driving us away. Why give shaytan the help?
    Alhamdulillah now there are so many classes and circles and the internet (non of which we had in my day) but reverts and ALL Muslims still need friends or family. allahu alim

  34. The problem is with Asian & Arab Muslims. They think that they are the best following Islam as it is & shunning & alienating new converts. Imagine that you’re a new white Muslim, being taken care of by a “traditional” Muslim family, & they make you wear salwar kameez & eat flatulent curry! Is this real Islam?!

  35. The only reason why Muslims leave Islam is hadith tradition. It has no authenticity and in large part contradicts Quran and Muhammad noble image. Hence the rivalry, bitterness and hardened hearts.

  36. Salaam,

    It’s very disheartening to hear such stories. But efforts are being made to change things. God Willing, it will continue to improve.

    Wasalaam

    Mohammed

  37. Nice job ummah, I say sarcastically through tears that just wont stop, sadness for how easily I relate, fear that islam can still be lost for me even after 8 years, it is still so hard and what is especially sad about this article is the realization that this unsettling loneliness is so much bigger than my own disconnect from islamic community … I extend a giant hug to all Muslimahs in need, revert or not, we all have to play a part in making Islam a welcoming home and the ummah our family. Subhan’Allah, bear your tests with patience, your sense of belonging in Islam can come simply from being the best slave of Allah you can, not by comparison to others, your faith is only between you and your creator … Balance between faith and culture is paramount, not everything was wrong before shahada! Reminder to those broken hearts to trust what you know and know that the best love is from Allah.

    • Asalaamualaikum sister. I am here for you if you need a friend. I have been Muslim over 10 years and yes it can still be hard x

  38. Islam did not begin with Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). If that is where you begin your faith you are bound to end in the wrong place. There were muslims (people of peace) long before Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was born. Go to the root of Islam and you will find not only peace of mind, body, and soul but also contentment, happiness, and oneness with Allah, who is That One that makes muslims. If you need help or guidance please contact me at (303) 832-1742 or wazir1947@aol.com. Your brother in Islam, Wazir.

  39. Assalamu alaikum,

    Sad to hear the news..
    My self Anver from Kerala, India. doing my Master in Islamic Finance. I can volunteer for the group, i can provide help online.. my id is noris.jas@gmail.com
    Let me know if i can be of any help to anyone..
    i expect reward only from Allah (swt).
    Include me in your duas ..
    Jazakallah Khair

    Regards
    Anver

  40. Assalam alaykom

    Thanks my all dear beloved muslims sisters and brothers who are born muslims or reverts. May peace and mercy of Almighty Allah be upon of you and your families.

    Reading this wonderful but heart breaking email was a listen for all of us. Really Really the new reverts need our any kind of support , love and kindness. They are like new babies with clean heart and sinless at all. so we as born muslims must know what and how they feel and know of their hearts and provide any kind of needed care and help. My dear brothers and sisters please note that today the era is close to the end of world when few or less true and practicing muslims could be found. The problem today are in us the born muslims who verbally say many things but never went to the depth of our heart. Today the biggest bottleneck for Islam are we. If we were practicing Islam even 50% none would have left without Islam. So I request all new brothers and sisters to just pretend that there is no one in the world for them but the only Allah their creator and this life is very short so they must only rely on Allah. Also my request to the born muslims is that enough is enough no more hyporcicy and playing with the word of Islam please stop all the s*** and come to Allah I say it first to my self and ask my self what did I do for these new muslims sisters and brothers . Although I live in Afghanistan the country with lots lots of miserable and problems I love to help a muslim sisiter and brother. Please Note that Afghan yougth love their religion and extremely love the new muslims If you feel any kind of support on behalf of Afghans let me know . my yahoo is pashton_afghan2001@yahoo.com and my Skype is lpachasadaat and my phone is 0093773457322. I promise you all that to the extent I can will really share your problems with the Islamic organization in my country and with muslim youth associataion. Inshallh I am quite condiment that will come for your help if you call on us. We proved it many times I am not boasting but Alhamdu lellah we proved that how hospitable we are to our muslim brothers and sisters in 2001

  41. Please don’t call me a “revert.” That a cutsie term that has no meaning in real life. My guess is that only one zillonth of people who CHOOSE Islam actually maintain the purity of our souls beyond the fraction of a second that it takes for us to draw another breath. We’re no different from any of you “born Muslims” who haven’t been perfect for a long time either. You don’t have to remain Muslim; you have a choice, and yet you continue along the path of “becoming Muslim” too.

    As I understand it, being Muslim means being in total submission to Allah. How many of us can say that we’ve made it – that we even comprehend that totality? I’m willing to bet that most all of us wake each day to the decision that we will do our best to live this day in congruence with the tenets we comprehend, of Islam. We make that conscious decision, that proactive inner statement with which we wash our morning even before we wash our faces. If we had already reached the state of submission all those around us would know that, yes? We would approach salat in pure gratitude and praise without begging for direction and our lights would beam our marvelous state to anyone who saw us.

    I cannot even read your missive because of your insistence on labeling us “reverts.” That’s a nonexistent word; gramatically correct, it would be “reverters.” Please don’t call me that one either. From the first use of the term to describe me I’ve felt a sickly crawling sensation of being clothed in a scratchy sweater over my bare skin, a sweater that someone else forced me to wear because they decided it suited me. Why, you may wonder, don’t I like the word? I’ll try to answer that question.

    I am a convert. Convert is a word that indicates a forward looking action, an action of awareness, movement towards a goal, while revert is a non-word that suggests moving backwards, and it sounds like pervert, an ugly word that was bandied about in mid-century America.

    I made a conscious decision to embrace Islam. I didn’t do it in a baby-state and I certainly did not feel like a baby after making my Shahada. I relished the idea of having had my sins washed away, but if I were actually in the state of a newborn soul none of my previous virtuous acts would have remained as blessings upon me. My soul would have been free of any attachments, an open blank. But as I understand, the declaration of faith retains the good deeds we’ve done while it dissolves the sins. I don’t think that babies are born carrying the benefits of their ancestors’ virtues; I think their souls are freshly minted by Allah, one equal to another, but I may be wrong.

    For years before my conversion I retreated from my then-faith, feeling a calling from the one God to worship Him directly. An experience of reading Qur’an showed me that I believed it was from that one God and I decided to make my declaration. I didn’t fall back into a newborn ignorance and innocence, I felt an inner pull guiding me ahead, my sins trailing me like little fabric knots on a kite tail, while my good deeds clothed me in confidence that I was making the right decision. My Shahada cut the string of the kite tail, and I felt lighter because of not being bogged down by their weight. It encouraged me that any good act I had done still infused my soul.

    I embrace Mandy’s sentiments, although i think I know how to pray. But the world of Muslims we enter in the Northwest is greatly different from what we anticipate. Although I am convinced of the verity of Islam, I cannot figure out the community of Muslims. Please know that in my opinion the work needs to be done on the community, not to converts. I am one of those converts who hasn’t seen an Eid or jummah in years because what I find there baffles me, in its non-resonance with worship and the “family” we are told awaits us. May Allah cover Mandy and other converts in nourishing grace, and may we all learn to listen.
    munira

    • assalamualaikom Munira

      MashaaAllah your post is well written and very informative,
      You are blessed with calrity of mind and articulation and a beautiful writing style.
      Yes definitely some work at the community level is needed, and it cannot be complete without people like yourself.

      Allah SWT says in the noble Quran “Say [O muhammad to them] : ‘Work; and God will surely see your work, and His Messenger, and the believers, and you will be returned to Him who knows the unseen and the visible, and He will tell you what you were doing.'”
      As the wise saying goes “It’s better to light a candle than to curse the darkness a million times”

      I believe New muslims can give alot to the society. Yes they do need a supportive learning environment, but I believe they have alot to give to the community and to other new muslims who come to the faith after them. The community needs your ideas, skills and efforts.

      May Allah strengthen your eiman, and strengthen the muslims with people like you

  42. Salam Aleikum,
    May Allah bless you all.
    Why can’t we network?
    There are many organisations who are doing something. IERA has a branch, here in Dubai we have been working on a New Muslim Summit
    At icraa.org we deal with answering academic doubts that people might have in Islam.
    There is much work done out there.

    http://newmuslimsummit.com

    http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/general/community-urged-to-support-new-muslims-1.1278960

    I believe we as Muslims have many resources we just don’t know how to gather them and how to delegate work.

    May Allah help us.

  43. AasalamuAlaikum WaRahmatullahi WaBarakatuh , to all brothers and sisters . I am a revert to Isalam , I came from Christianity about 10 years ago now , my journey I can honestly say has been a fantastic one for me , not only in learning but also in the acceptance by fellow brothers and sisters in my home town . I am an ex British soldier , I have tattoos on my neck , hands , arms, legs and back , and had piercings in my ears . the brothers I already knew were very kind towards me , and never shund me when I asked questions about their religion . I didn’t walk into Islam blindly , I did my research in depth , and then finally did my Shahadah . Once I had done this I visited my local mosque , and at once was introduced to the Shiek , and Iman , all of the brothers welcomed me and helped me learn my prayers , and I was given my Holy Quran to read at my own will . not once did anyone mention my tattoos . I have moved around my town , and now live in a community that is mixed , but majority white , I have a mosque only 5 minutes walk away from my house . I did like the mosque I used to go to , as after Jummah prayer we used to got to another brothers house for further learning . If anyone wants to get in touch with me , I will accept you as a friend , you can contact me on isaq509@gmail.com , or on facebook Muhammad Isaq . May Allah guide us all to the righteous path to Jannah … Insha’Allah

  44. assalamuliaku to my fellow muslims and those who are fighting aganist islam, may almighty allah change their hart to enjoy islam so that at the end paradise would be our?i joint the islamic region one and half of this month and i do nt know much abt islam, there is question that has been confusing me.john chpt 1 to 2 saying in the begining was the word and the word was with God and the word is God?my friends christian are sayin that that word is jesus ane same jesus is God and to what i learnt from the Qu’ran Chpt 112 i disagree that they said.pls can u prove them that wht they is wrong. thank u.

    • Salaam Abdul,

      You don’t have prove anything. Just deliver the message about God Almighty. Surah 112 of the Qur’an is the best you can give them. After that, it’s up to them. Don’t get into the game of proving anyone wrong – concentrate on your own studies.

      Wasalaam

      Mohammed

  45. I live in Africa and would be glad to help new Muslims by giving advice on the basics of Islam; please publish my email, INsha-Allah (SWT) someone may benefit

  46. Sadly, most of us who live in a secular society, have adopted an attitude I would like to call “survivalist stranger-ism “. It goes against the most important fit-rah of a human being, which is to create a prophetic bond from caring and sharing(in all it’s forms) with all (family) members of this Allaah preferred ummah. Our prophet achieved what Allaah(ta’aala) had caused him to, predominantly because of his selfless qualities. May Allaah cause this generation of Believers/submitters to adopt the same type of selflessness which is clearly outlined in the written proofs of our beloved prophets(SAW) sun-nah.

    I recently read that when one wants to create new habits, it should be adopted in small “pieces” so as to make it easy on ones self and to lessen the possibility of discarding it altogether. Normally it is considered that 40 days is the amount of measured time it will take for a habit to be fully formed.

    Ultimately, Allaah(ta’aala) knows best.

  47. Assalamualaikum, I would like to offer a helping hand to any new Muslim sisters or any woman considering Islam. I am in the East Midlands area in the UK and if I believe there is lack of assistance out there for new Muslims.

  48. Quality Muslims over quantity Muslims pls
    It is unfortunate that any circumstance would sway someone’s faith, but it is a rule that’s applicable to us all, as Allah swt states in the noble book ‘3:179 Allah will not leave the believers in the state in which ye are now, until He separates what is evil from what is good nor will He disclose to you the secrets of the Unseen. But He chooses of His Messenger. (For the purpose) whom He pleases. So believe in Allah. And His apostles: And if ye believe and do right, ye have a reward without measure.
    I think we should collectively work on ourselves, help the Muslims that already exist, whether Syria or Mynmar etc. we should be concerned about quality Muslims rather than quantity Muslims.
    It aggrieves me on some of the Islamic board when folks insist on giving da3wa to folks with less than noble intentions and it is very apparent. A Muslim should be wise and shrewd and understand from the written word or spoken word as it is a mild cover for already what exists inside and those who enter Islam shouldn’t do so lightly because a friend is Muslim or because they’ve a bad hair day and want to cover or some silly reason. It is a lifetime commitment that’s not to be entered into lightly.

    waslaam

  49. Quality Muslim over quantity Muslims
    It is unfortunate that any circumstance would sway someone’s faith, but it is a rule that’s applicable to us all, as Allah swt states in the noble book ‘3:179 Allah will not leave the believers in the state in which ye are now, until He separates what is evil from what is good nor will He disclose to you the secrets of the Unseen. But He chooses of His Messenger. (For the purpose) whom He pleases. So believe in Allah. And His apostles: And if ye believe and do right, ye have a reward without measure.
    I think we should collectively work on ourselves, help the Muslims that already exist, whether Syria or Mynmar etc. we should be concerned about quality Muslims rather than quantity Muslims.
    It aggrieves me on some of the Islamic board when folks insist on giving da3wa to folks with less than noble intentions and it is very apparent. A Muslim should be wise and shrewd and understand from the written word or spoken word as it is a mild cover for already what exists inside and those who enter Islam shouldn’t do so lightly because a friend is Muslim or because they’ve a bad hair day and want to cover or some silly reason. It is a lifetime commitment that’s not to be entered into lightly.

    waslaam

  50. There is alternative!
    I understand and feel all the feedback and want you to know that we can actually become a “good” Muslim without worrying about changing our culture and overwhelming rules. Please check this out and share with us what you think:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPs9RnWSPTg

  51. sarita-lachiquita@hotmail.com

    Assalamu alaikum
    what a sad story I feel so sad. People of our communities should feel ashamed of themselves for letting their brothers and sisters in faith all by themselves! I live in Belgium so anybody who lives here dont hesitate to contact me for any questions! If you live in Belgium I can invite you to some events there are PLENTY over here and if you live elsewhere still you can send me an email and talk if you like we can be sort of penfriends using Hotmail lol I would love to help any sister who feels like talking or has any question about Islam might Allah give you strengh sisters I applaud and admire your courage!!!

  52. Now a days people are more educated and are more informed. Islam can not answers to social, spiritual curiosities of people. People need equality security and freedom. Islam prohibits all these things. Mental slavery is worst one. Once one is out of clutches of islam, the true realm is revealed to him which is peaceful, beautiful and close to nature.

  53. Sad but true
    One of the signs of the last hour is that those in charge of our affairs are not fit for purpose. One of the manifestations of this is that we are too busy trying to build buildings and minarets rather than building communities.

  54. I understand Sister Mandy’s point of view
    Asalam alaikum

    I can relate to some of Sister Mandy’s experience. I reverted 5 years ago, and like reverts have mentioned, I too have experienced the loneliness and isolation. I took my shahada and then it was a case of “now what?” I went to a local mosque but was overwhelmed by information on my first visit, I thought I felt such a feeling of community – that would remain, but never felt any sense of community since then at the same mosque or others, unfortunately. So these days I work with what there is, ie the few sisters who reply salam, have a chat and go. I used to even think I was saying “Asalam alaikum” incorrectly as I was just looked at when I said it – and that was IN the mosque, sad but true.
    It helps if there are new muslim classes on, but there weren’t any at the time of my shahada. I never really developed a sense of any foundation in Islam, and I am sure lack of classes, support, sisters reaching out played a part. I have spoken to many other revert sisters who have the same shared experience. I have also heard of many sisters taking their shahada,only never to be seen again – and the sisters who have mentioned this, have been sure it has been due to the lack of support/sense of connection.

    I have never experienced such loneliness that I have as a revert sister. Alhamdulilah life changes, and there are times of clarity when you do feel like you know what you can do to help yourself. It took me 3 years to wear a hijab and 4 years to learn a couple of surats! I put that down to how lost I felt with it all, sort of floating around and not knowing what I was doing and other sisters who I had as points of contact being too busy to talk etc. Alhamdulilah I know more sisters now, but to get to this point, it has taken years!I thought it would be automatic within a couple of visits to the mosque, how wrong was I? lol

    What really summed things up for me recently, that was funny/sad at the same time, was I was recently looking at another mosque’s website, that is within driving distance. Thinking, if I can attend some classes etc, I will be able to build some sort of foundation, even though I have been there and felt isolated too (nationalities tend sit with each other and aren’t always naturally friendly to a white revert, although a handful are). On their website if purely focussed on the mosque’s extension/building plans. It had a page for activities/classes, but nothing on that page. I called and a brother said, that yes, they have plenty of classes, but didn’t put the information on the website(!) Sort of bittersweet really, I wanted to find out about a class, but the website was covered in requests for donations for the building works 😉 I am all for mosques being extended, but I wish the community that sits in them was stronger and more supportive. If it wasn’t so true, it would be laughable.

  55. lonely path of coldness in islam
    :(regarding sisters comment about revert sisters pinching husbands from sisters that befriend them,ive heard of this happening amongst sisters ,brothers that marry for 2nd time only use these lonely sisters for sex,its a form of abuse,they always get dumped as first family are neglected when brother is in honeymoon period with new missus,i would never be a 2nd wife ,i have to agree with this sister its a form of fitna,as it disturbs 1st family causing chaos and misery to everybody in this 3 way triangle.also brothers out there cant get 1 wife greedy brothers taking 2nd wives are depriving their unmarried brother who could have married the sisterwhen a brother sees a sister looking for a husband he should be finding a unmarried brother for her not taking her for himself as a 2nd wife thats just greed,on the subject of racisimits alive and kicking in the muslim comunnity,im white and ive experianced this and a lot of the black sisters get this rubbish behaviour as well ,theres very little unity,many muslims are very insular in their mosques in their own cliques,as a revert my life is utter lonelyness, zero support ,i only now 2 sisters,thats how great the support network is,a lot of muslims keep you at arms length like they have something to hide,theirs no islamic family,thats a falsehood life in islam is like being a orphan on a mountain alone,all the brothers want to marry young single women not a woman whos divorced and 47 years of age like me,the prophet married widows and divorcees you wont even see a imam with a wife who is a widowor divorcee,thewy go on about following the prophets sunnah but none of them implemente this example of marrying a widow or divorcee,they are hypocites,and the majority of brothers look at you as soiled like a old pair of shoes that they would never want on their feet when it comes to marridge they all want brand new shoes , as a divorcee in islam you are looked down on,my experiance since converting has been a bad one ,a life of isolation like being in a cell ,a prisoner of solitude wish i could write a happy story as a revert but this is the truth as ive experianced it

  56. Why are New Muslims Leaving Islam?
    Dear all

    When you finish trying everything, please read “Holy Bible” too. I am sure, you will find the light at the end….you are on your way, all you got to do is get up and take the word of God….it is the truth.

    Yours in Him

  57. Why are New Muslims Leaving Islam?
    Dear all

    please when finish with all, please read “The Holy Bible” too. I am sure, the light is now too far……

  58. Is it really that bad?
    I am a Jew who just said the shehada in submission to Allah and I am suprised to see the level of loneliness and misery people seem to have as new reverts.

    I haven’t engaged the Islamic community yet and for me, the issue isn’t whether they will accept me, it is more my suspicion and anxiety about whether I can accept them – forgive me if that sounds arrogant.

    After becoming close to an Moslem girl, I fell in love with Islam and began learning Al’Quran and praying. I haven’t been to a prayer session yet, but I’m learning about the times etc. I would be quite happy growing in Islam by myself but I know that it’s a requirement to pray with the community. One thing I’ve learned in life is that if you want a community of any kind to accept you, it’s not always the right thing to do to point a finger at them for not being accepting. One must make efforts to be more acceptable to the community also. My thought is to find a real friend who will tell you if you’re doing something distasteful – so you know – so at least you can fit in better in the future.

    Of course, I haven’t been absorbed into the community – yet, but I’m sure it will be fine. I know for a fact right now that I won’t be able to keep all five prayers due to study and work requirements, but I also know that the first surah of Al’Quran identifies Allah as entirely merciful and especially merciful, so he sees my will to be connected to the straight path. So my advice is; build a life for yourself. Don’t rely on anybody to do it for you.

    It might sound tough, but you’ll be a stronger person for it. Insha Allah.

    Wa salaam.

  59. Ex-Muslim position
    If you really want to know why we leave I’ll give you a few reasons.

    Even though many of us truly fear Allah swt and love his apostle we are usually pushed away for these reasons.

    1. Arabism can be defined as the devotion to Arab interests, culture, aspirations, or ideals. It is common in Arab culture to view being Arab or from a particular region with superiority. The religion also takes on this character in everything from scholarship to the acts of following Sunnah. Arabs culture is given precedents which feels like ethnocentrism being forced down your throat. Why can’t I pray in English? why is modern arabic important when it is not like Quranic arabic? Why is eating with your hands a blessing yet eating with cutlery or chop sticks is somehow less blessed? This leads to the demonization of every culture that is not Islamic and the praising of Arab culture. They seem to think Islam is their culture when there is a difference between arab culture and islam. It is obvious that they do deviate from religion and their culture is older then their religion. Further political positions and marriage to Arab women is reserved for arab men. Which leads me to my next point.

    2. Arrogance – The domination of Arab culture isn’t the only subtle racism in the community. Even other cultures who have embraced Islam view themselves above others. This is the case so much so that when ever a revert argues a topic the “born muslim” always has a kind of instant credibility as if religion is something inherently more understood by some people then others. How many times has some easterner told you that your thinking like a westerner (Implying you should think like him or that their cultural perspective is inherently in line with Islam). Further more your status as a convert/revert is held against you, you are a known as a sinner and a risky person to get to close to or marry. So be prepared to not speak, not mingle and not marry. if you struggle with this you will be viewed as the arrogant one, when indeed it is Asians (this includes Arabs, the middle east is not a continent, sorry) that have a sense of entitlement to religion.

    3. Alienation – from all communities. Becoming a muslim alienates you from your culture and the muslims are divided by theirs leaving us with no one.

    4. The inability for Islam to solve social issues. (self-evident)

    All of my points have to do with people. Unfortunately people can’t be avoided so it impacts our faith. Constantly being alienated from people and the religion itself by having others tell you Islam belongs to them pushes you away. It means that you have to have so much faith that you struggle for God in every way and you have to fight the good fight with practically everyone around you to justify your identity as a muslim.

    So when I read comments saying it’s not the muslims fault, they were not true believers or it’s Allahs will. This is a lame cop-out to not critically analyze yourselves or admit that there are problems in the community (denial that there is racism is the largest delusion among believers). No instead just as the facists in first world countries expect imigrants to act like them completely the Asians also expect all the muslims to be like them.

    The truth the vast majority of muslims are being used as a pawn of shatan to mislead people from the right path. Most muslims will burn as the worst people in existence, because they are hypocrites.

  60. Ex-muslim opinion
    If you really want to know why we leave I’ll give you a few reasons.

    Even though many of us truly fear Allah swt and love his apostle we are usually pushed away for these reasons.

    1. Arabism can be defined as the devotion to Arab interests, culture, aspirations, or ideals. It is common in Arab culture to view being Arab or from a particular region with superiority. The religion also takes on this character in everything from scholarship to the acts of following Sunnah. Arabs culture is given precedents which feels like ethnocentrism being forced down your throat. Why can’t I pray in English? why is modern arabic important when it is not like Quranic arabic? Why is eating with your hands a blessing yet eating with cutlery or chop sticks is somehow less blessed? This leads to the demonization of every culture that is not Islamic and the praising of Arab culture. They seem to think Islam is their culture when there is a difference between arab culture and islam. It is obvious that they do deviate from religion and their culture is older then their religion. Further political positions and marriage to Arab women is reserved for arab men. Which leads me to my next point.

    2. Arrogance – The domination of Arab culture isn’t the only subtle racism in the community. Even other cultures who have embraced Islam view themselves above others. This is the case so much so that when ever a revert argues a topic the “born muslim” always has a kind of instant credibility as if religion is something inherently more understood by some people then others. How many times has some easterner told you that your thinking like a westerner (Implying you should think like him or that their cultural perspective is inherently in line with Islam). Further more your status as a convert/revert is held against you, you are a known as a sinner and a risky person to get to close to or marry. So be prepared to not speak, not mingle and not marry. if you struggle with this you will be viewed as the arrogant one, when indeed it is Asians (this includes Arabs, the middle east is not a continent, sorry) that have a sense of entitlement to religion.

    3. Alienation – from all communities. Becoming a muslim alienates you from your culture and the muslims are divided by theirs leaving us with no one.

    4. The inability for Islam to solve social issues. (self-evident)

    All of my points have to do with people. Unfortunately people can’t be avoided so it impacts our faith. Constantly being alienated from people and the religion itself by having others tell you Islam belongs to them pushes you away. It means that you have to have so much faith that you struggle for God in every way and you have to fight the good fight with practically everyone around you to justify your identity as a muslim.

    So when I read comments saying it’s not the muslims fault, they were not true believers or it’s Allahs will. This is a lame cop-out to not critically analyze yourselves or admit that there are problems in the community (denial that there is racism is the largest delusion among believers). No instead just as the facists in first world countries expect imigrants to act like them completely the Asians also expect all the muslims to be like them.

    The truth the vast majority of muslims are being used as a pawn of shatan to mislead people from the right path. Most muslims will burn as the worst people in existence, because they are hypocrites.

    • we all agree that the muslim community needs alot of work, but one of your points was: “The inability for Islam to solve social issues”

      i think that if you truly believe that then you haven’t *truly* believed that islam is the complete perfect way of life prescribed by God, in fact i think you should take the shahadah again.

      Allahu a’lam

  61. converts
    Most muslim converts are lonely old grannies looking for a husband

  62. I KNOW THE ANSWER
    Simple answer: Islam , the koran and mohammed are frauds.
    Proof: The koran says the earth is flat and the sun turns around it. That mountains were built to prevent earthquakes and that semen comes from behind the rips. Everybody knows all this is wrong, yet the koran claims to be god’s word.
    This is the best proof islam is a fraud, the koran is not god’s word and mohammed was a *********.

    All muslims are thus worshiping an idol and will burn in eternal hell fire.

    I feel sorry for you.

  63. I am a female revert of a year and a half. It took me a whole year before I felt comfortable enough to try praying and another two months after that to be able to wear hijab. I know becoming Muslim was the right thing for me to do but I do feel so very alone most of the time. I converted after marrying a Muslim man – totally my choice. He wants me to learn on my own for fear of teaching me something incorrectly, but he has helped me some. He encourages me to learn as much as I can and would love it if I quit my job and just studied Islam – I would love that too, but finances dictate otherwise. Anyways he went overseas to spend Ramadan with his family and I feel more alone than ever before. Here is it, the last night of Ramadan – I should be filled with joy and stronger imaan, but I have spent hours crying and feeling alone and dreading Eid. I always feel like such an outsider when I force myself on groups like at the Eid prayers tomorrow … its tough. Allah gives me solace, but it still hurts – its such a trial. This article was excellent – it really covered a lot of what I am feeling. The other thing I struggle with is the isolation and separation from Allah that I feel when I am menstruating – it takes all of my strength not to slip into depression. My family is not Muslim and I can’t really talk to them. I have no Muslim friends. My husband does not understand and is absorbed in his own struggles and won’t make room for mine. My community doesn’t advertise opportunities for me to associate with other Muslims very well – and when I do go, I feel like an outsider. Oh woe is me – I should just suck it up – Allah IS all I need. I am better off being a Muslim with the trials I am facing, alhamdulillah! However I am human and I need the companionship, empathy, friendship, and love of others, especially my husband … I will keep struggling and praying to Allah for his mercy and guidance!

  64. Help Provide
    Assalam alaykioum wa rahamtu allahi wa baraktuh. I also can relate to the article. i converted to Islam in 2007, i lost all my “western friend” and to divorce my husband who forced me to choice between him and God. my family rejected me, ALhumdilleah., I married a lovely Emirati man and became second wife and was then completely rejected by his family and subjected to a hate campaign by his first wife. “what a religion i though” As a counselor i wanted to help people who had experienced similar experiences.
    So i set up a Facebook group, called “New Muslim support Group” . We provide help to new muslims and indeed existing muslims, with all aspects of the religion. alhumdelillah
    The experiences have made me stronger and Allah has always supported me, Alhumdilleah

  65. MRS
    SALAM ALAIKUM

    As a revert myself I can relate to a lot but one thing when I reverted I went really slow and I think that is why today although I am having a big test I refuse to leave Islam. I can see revert who are better than me they know much more than me who I have been reverted for 13 years but I believe that i will get there and this test is pushing me to be better Muslim Inshallah. It is hard as somebody made me realised one day the SHAITAN has done his job with the non Muslims but with us Muslims he has to work hard to make us leave Islam. I am determined not to let theshaitan won, INSHALLAH but unfortunately everybody is different and have different experiences. That’s why i would recommend to any revert to ask Allah to guide them and go slow as I believe that also you do thing when you feel ready and not to feel presurised by other Muslims just take easy. I DON’T KNOW IF IT IS THE RIGHT ADVICE MAY ALLAH FORGIVE ME IF I SAY WRONG BUT IT WORKS FOR ME.

  66. Struggle for all muslims alike
    It’s a sad state of affairs to be sure but I think we also need to take stock that young people born into Islam also struggle trying to strike the balance between growing up in this country with British values and keeping with the deen – also, may be not so much now (I’m not sure) but being taught by people from overseas in matters of religion only to grow older and learn that certain things are more cultural than religious. My personal opinion is that it gets easier as you get older and you get the passion for learning Islam for yourself and not because your parents want you to. Also, I wouldn’t assume that all muslim families practice all aspects of their faith diligently – it may be that one family decides to become a better muslim for themselves therefore start doing things differently and their family are not always fully supportive. Yes, an anomly but you see in a way we’re all in the same boat.

    I agree that a degree of racism is prevalent amongst people from the indian sub-continent though this should not be suprising considering this is an issue in Asia with all their fair and lovely vanity projects. However, I like to think and hope it is true that the younger generation are more open minded and less inclined to see people in such a blind and prejudiced manner.

    All the above being said, I can’t pretend to know how it feels to be so alone and I won’t lessen the plight of new muslims but insha’allah Allah will make it easy for them.

    Just my two pence (not cents – we’re British!):)

  67. salam
    Salam. I don’t want to write an essay but if there are any reverted Muslims female that feel lost you can email me especially if in the Rochdale area as that’s where I am. ***

    *** Edited by Moderator.
    Please contact Support organisations such as SOLACE or initiatives in your locality and offer your help. May Allah reward you with goodness.

  68. Loneliness – Ramadhan Rel
    Loneliness in Ramadhan – is a very difficult thing – to be all alone when to look at it InshaAllah it is very much a familial bonding and jointly practising Islam.. My prayers are for the reverts who are lonely during this time – to ease the loneliness and the difficulty – and bestow the best of both world…

    A similar write up and a emotional connect is there in the article here – http://islamnewsroom.com/news-we-need/1666

    • I AM A MUSLIM OF FIVE YEARS. I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN PRACTICE. THERE ARE SO MANY CLICKS IN THE UMMAH, AND AFRICAN AMERICAN IS NOT ONE OF THEM. THERE ARE SOME MUSLIMS THAT DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME. THEY WONT EVEN TOUCH ME DURING SALAH. I’M THINKING OF START A SMALL MASJID WITH JUST MY WIFE AND CHILDREN. AT LEAST WE ACCEPT EACH OTHER. I THOUGHT ISLAM WAS FOR EVERYONE … NOT JUST FOR PEOPLE OVER SEAS.

  69. Reverts Sisters – Latch on to Husbands – Greene – Social Issues..
    Assalamualikum – happened to come to the article from a friends facebook wall.. really enlightening it is… would like to add that this article has initiated a good discussion in dawah circles here and they are planning to have a meeting concerning the issues mentioned here..

    I am a Doctor by profession alhamdulilah and can relate to the psychological issue mentioned out in the article and very importantly – the need to look into the social dimension of a revert or for that matter a muslim starting to practice..

    I am very much anguished by the comment Greene had made before with regards to revert sisters latching on to husband.. I think that is too rude to say.. that is common to all women who are single – and there is a emotional aspect to it – which is free from being a revert sister or not – it is humane in nature to be specific. I being a Muslim Husband and a father of three small kids feel Muslim men are far more responsible and that is the reason they are liked in comparison to non faithful men in comparison…

    Yes it might be wrong but to blame on reverts sister is far stressed and outrageous.

    Alhamdulilah we are living in a stage of revival of Islam and by it we need also to revive the tradition of the sahabah ie Ansar on what all they did for the Muhajiroon..(ra).. They shared their lives alhamdulilah.. are we not ready to share and earn in the hereafter..??

  70. islam not based on race
    Salam, i am from Malaysia. I studied in the Uk for 8 years and am quite familiar with the phsycology of the Muslims there especially those from the Indian-subcontinent ( majority group). Too often they associated being Muslims mean to dress and adopt like Pakistani culture etc whereas Islam is a universal deen which transcends race or culture. I hope my brothers and sisters in UK receive the reverts with open arm and give them support accordingly. Only then we can build a strong Ummmah.

  71. Why are New Muslims Leaving Islam?
    Salaam my dear brothers and sisters,
    I have been a muslim for almost 10yrs now and I had a bad time when coming to the deen. So many times I cried, but I knew I didn’t want to go back to my old life because that was a life of drinking, clubbing and drugging. I was a lost soul, I never love myself or my family. When entering into the deen I had no one but myself, I went to circles, got shut out everyone is in the groups, the feeling was horrible. I remember one time I went to see a emamm at a talk he requested I go to in order to speak to him. When I got there he push me over to someone eles, I thought that was because of the colour of my skin. Alhamdulliah the person who I spoke to can’t remember his name but he is on peace tv he gave me some good advice that I was happy with. That was the day I almost left the deen. I pushed and pused in the deen on my own by the will of Allah, still no I have no one apart from my husband and Allah. Im very close to my family now all thanks to Islam. My advice to new sisters coming into the deen is to stand firm hold on to the blessing that has been bestowed on u, yes it get lonely, u need to get yourself strong learn the Sunnah, because the more u go here there and everywhere it can get confusing, and u will see things that u won’t like. What you no and think is islam is not always the case. Once you strong and ready to face your fellow sisters ur able to deal with things that will upset u. What we need to do is pray hard and strive hard, it’s not easy but Allah alway makes away.

  72. Assalaamu ‘alaykum. I live in Woking, Shah Jahan Mosque. If there are brothers and sisters who are new to Islam or ‘not so new anymore’ please feel free to get in touch. We have a few sisters that attend our class, in english, but I think it is about breaking the barrier between people from sub continent and British born people. I emailed this article to all my students and people in my contact list and received many positive replies from sisters willing to engage more with those new to islam and insha’Allah plan to do something actively after eid. So if you live in or around Woking, Surrey…please get in touch. Jazak’Allahu khayr..wasalaam

  73. Mashallah
    I feel her pain. All I can say is stay strong sister Allah found yo for a reason. I can totally relate born Muslims sometimes think they ate the ed all be all & cannot forgive or listen to a revert. We have a long way to go brothers & sisters

  74. Sticking points!
    Assalamu alaikum.

    JazakAllah khairan brother Abdulwahid, thank you so much! You’ve raised really powerful points mashaAllah.

    The first time I’ve heard an analysis quite similar to this one was at the “Seed of Change” event organised by iera sisters where a sister made really good points and opened the eyes of many of us and specially new Muslims as we could all relate to what she said.

    What a new Muslim needs beyond anything is building a strong connection with Allah, solid foundation of Islam, a good company and empowerment. These key elements will not prevent us from being tested but it will help us staying strong enough to overcome the tests we are facing, with Allah’s help and support.

    The sister at the conference mentioned a course or training that they are organizing for the community, so I pray it will make a difference and change the life of many of us inshaAllah.

    Wassalamu alaikum

  75. keep islam.
    As salaamu Alaikum.

    All praise belongs to Allah the Lord of all that exists.

    In my view, you can be a lot more supportive of a person if you give them the means to fish rather than be there to give a fish each day. So, with the goal being to create independence from others and total dependence upon Allaah Swt you can teach them about Islam the basics that every muslims should know. But here is where many fail, they dont know what Islam is themselves how can they teach others let alone support others. Sometimes, the reverts themselves know far more about Islam than a person who has grey hair in Islam. Lets get the basics first establish ourselves then attempt to establish others and this is where very few of us are able to do because Islam requires knowledge and this does not come except by the Mercy of Allaah.

    As for the reverts or any other person leaving islam, this is because they dont know what Islam is for them to leave Islam. Allaah tells us in Al baqarah about Messengers Ibrahim and Ismaaiil. They prayed to Allaah to make them muslims and also their kids. If a messenger from God is praying to His creator to establish him and enable him to be a Muslim this highlights the importance and that its a gift from Allaah and no human can establish you in Islam. Only Allaah can so they prayed to Allaah alone for this because of their knowledge. Whereas we seek to establish our islam by the means of people, that has to be redirected to Allaah, the owner of grace and bounty. Also, we see in the same context in that surah Ibrahim did advice his children some of whom were prophets to hold on to Islam and that they should not die except that they are Muslimeen. And Also Messenger Yacqub Peace be upon Him asking His children who are they going to worship after his death? In other words, this holding to Islam is the farewell advice to their kids meaning the best of what they left them in terms of advice and recommendation. Sometimes, advice is the best form of giving to others especially when you are not going to be there for them all the time. So, if anyone islam its because he is ignorant about what Islam is. Islam is not about hugs or family or friends this is a belief and conviction to which you hold on to until you die regardless of what comes your way. You dont come to Islam for the people and you dont leave it for the people. Another example of messengers of God praying and begging Allah to make them firm in Islam is Yusuf Peace be upon Him when He said to Allaah in the end of the prayer cause me to die as a muslim and join me with the Pious.(salihin) And the cause of Muhammad the last of the messengers of God who in the hadith begged Allaah to make His heart firm upon the religion of Allaah swt. so, dont look for the muslims to establish anyone they cannot even establish themselves upon this religion of truth, except by the mercy of Allaah. And when a person is begging His creator for something of course, there is an implied part that you do your part too and you dont just wish. Allaah swt said in Surah Al ankabut chapter 29 the last verse. And those who strive in our way We will surely guide them to Our ways. That way is Islam, and it comes with striving. And lastly,although you strive even with the salat which is a must for a muslim you still beg Allaah to Guide you in the straight Path.(the path of Islam). Meaning with effort and prayer to Allaah. As for praying the salat the youtube and internet tools I believe are enough for those who do the effort and pray to Allaah to guide and correct them to the straight Path. Wa salaamun Alaikum.

  76. Umm Raiyaan [SOLACE]

    MESSAGE FROM UMM RAIYAAN
    ssalamuu alaykum,
    As a SOLACE team we are grateful to Allah (Swt) first and foremost for the opportunity to create awareness about the difficulties reverts face. islam21c.com has been an amazing platform to further this type of awareness and we would also like to thank islam21.com for offering us the chance to contribute towards their articles.

    There are several organisations that support very new Muslims and try to help them during the crucial initial weeks and months. However, there is a huge number of reverts, some of whom who have been Muslim for 10+ years, who no longer seem to be labelled as a new Muslim who need just as much if not more support. For SOLACE, it is those who do not fall into the wonderful hands of organisations such as iERA and others that we tend to support.

    Sadly, to date we have received 80+ requests of help this year alone.
    If you would like to support SOLACE – you can do so through the following methods:
    1. By forwarding this article as much as possible.
    2. By joining our mailing list at http://www.solaceuk.org and forwarding campaign alerts, testimonials etc in a bid to also increase awareness.
    3. Volunteer your time to work with SOLACE
    4. Donate – we are solely funded by the kind donations by brothers and sisters.
    5. We are definitely looking to expand nationwide and internationally due to a large number of outside London cases.

    As we are a grassroots organisation, we are constantly working at the ‘front line’ directly with service users and so our work really does never stop.

    JazakhaAllahu khairan for your help,
    On behalf of all of the SOLACE team,
    Wasalamu alaykum
    Umm Raiyaan
    Director of SOLACE

    • After being a Muslim for 8 years. I do not want to be considered a new muslim.

      One of the things that has made me momentarily question my faith is the advice and actions of other Muslims.

      After 7 years trying to tell me what Islam is about although I have studied it more then them

      Making me think if I’ve got it wrong and teir version of Islam is what Islam is about them I don’t think it’s for me

      They commenting on my acts of Islam. Not taking the stuff I have to say seriously because I am a revert etc.

      I am sure there are just as many sisters who have issues after 10 years of being muslim because they cannot shake the revert label.

      • I get the same thing, it really annoys me people thinking they have more knowledge than me on a subject because they were born muslim. Even though they aren’t that practising, weren’t raised in a practising household/environment etc. People nowadays in the UK are quick to point out your mistakes whilst at the same time being clean shaven etc. They try to act like big sheikhs yet they can’t do the most basic acts themselves.

      • Assalamu Alaykum,
        I’ve a Muslim,Alhamdulillah, now for 4years and I can relate myself to every single word in this article and comments, but I believe in Allah (SWT), not one day of my life has been easy, before or after reverting, but I’m very happy I’ve found Islam and I have an very supportive husband and 3 gorgeous children Mashallah, I was rejected by everyone I ever known and Eid for me it’s very hard and sad, at the end I cry because I can’t make it special for my children, due to certain circumstances, it’s just me and them. I have no friend’s to be able to lear more and talk and share with, I walk in the street and give salam and smiles, in return I get nothing back. In my daughter school there is lots of Muslims women, they never once look at me or directed a word to me, I feel alone but happy because end of the day I do it all for the sake of Allah All Mighty. I’ve learned everything I know in my own with Allah’s guidance and my husband help. Before I used to feel useless because I knew nothing snd thought mu husband thought less of me, but today I’m proud to say that my knowledge it’s vast and I now can share opinion without feeling an outsider. I study Islam on my own, I attend to webinars, listen lectures and read everything I can get my hands on, and share it with the ones are close to me, it might be a hand full of people, but it goes a long way.
        And never in million years I would turn away from Islam, the religion that brought to me noor and inner peace and a beautiful family Alhamdulillah.
        Jazakallah Akair
        And may Allah guide us all to be better to our ummah, help and guide the new or born Muslims in this Dunya Inshaallah

  77. Assalamu Alaikum
    Very good article. I can relate to it too. I am a revert too (22 years mashalah). What I do to beat the loneliness during this Ramadan is I go to Taraweeh as much as I can, I look out for Islamic talks/events. East London Mosque and London Central Mosque have classes/group meetings for reverts throughout the year. You can make friends there. You can also find a list of Islamic events in your area throughout the year on: http://www.ukislamicevents.net. I wish you all a blessed end of Ramadan.

  78. I also want to help revert sisters but unfortunately those I know latch on emotionally to brothers who want to help them who are already married. So the brothers will marry them as second wives and the revert sister agrees as she sees a way out of her lonely situation, but the first wife is resentful and the kids from the first wife are resentful as they now have less time with their father, and no matter what the brother says, he cannot spend everything, time, money, sex equally between the two, so I ask the revert sisters, please think twice before marrying a guy who says hes allowed polygamy by Allah, etc. but is actually causing a problem by upsetting his first family, would those revert sisters who do that really want to cause hatred in another muslim sister? Where are the single, unmarried men, who are trying so hard to keep themselves chaste, these men should help and marry these sisters, break the culture barrier and get two rewards, one for marriage, and one to bring a sister into Islam. Otherwise stop forcing marriage down their throats as the answer to revert sisters problems. I would like to help revert sisters but my experience shows that they may snatch other sisters husbands and settle to be second wives :(

    • Dear Greene,

      Assalamu Alikom, As a revert myself I find your comments in relation to your concerns and withdrawal and caution to assist new Muslim sisters because of your fear they will snatch husbands as a terrible thing to say and actually an insult to muslim revert sisters not to mention sad because of your fears which are misguided if you are referring to the majority of new Muslim sisters.

      Polygany is permissible in Islam and we cannot accuse any person of entering into it as causing hatred or upsetting a family. This is permitted by Allah and Allah knows what is best. In addition, not every Muslim woman who enters Islam is looking for marriage and her intention is to seek knowledge of the deen and to integrate into a new way of life within the Muslim community to become the best servant to Allah she can be. I agree that not all brothers have the best of intentions or capability to take a second wife. However this does not mean that all new sisters are husband snatchers and we should certainly not stop assisting them because of this misconception. If a woman fears that her husband is taking a second wife for the wrong reasons or as being incapable in terms of his responsibilities as commanded by Allah, then it is for her to discuss this with him, and to perhaps ask him to seek the advice of an Imam or to seek consultation before asking for marriage in such conditions because it is haram for him to marry if he is incapable. This may not be known by the new Muslim when she is asked, which is all the more reason why you should protect both her and yourself by doing this, or by upporting her if such a situation happens to you, and this stands for all sisters in the same situation.

      New Muslim women are extremely vulnerable in this respect and the horror stories of marriages gone terribly wrong are there for all to see. So we need to support them rather than guard ourselves against them because we are afraid for what ever reason. Perhaps if they find the support in their sisters, then they would not be so hasty to seek support in a marriage which is not the best for them.

      I understand that to force marriage at an early time within reversion is not always a good thing, a new Muslim is vulnerable and needs support and guidance through this in the correct Islamic way. However, we can also not deny that marriage is half of our deen and if a new Muslim is blessed with a good and pious Husband to teach her then this is a blessing of Allah. Not all revert marriages go wrong by the Grace and Mercy of Allah.

      The problem here is specifically that the community are not, as the article clearly states, always there for them for many reasons, and most reasons, unlike yours, are not intentional abandonments, but rather because they believe that others are giving support in ways a new Muslim needs or they just get on with their lives as normal families once the novelty of a new Muslim around wears off.

      How can I comment and say such things? We know that in Islam we must evidence all we say or witness it, and so I can say these things because I am a revert who found herself in this very situation of being left alone and I too cried to Allah. I pushed and found strength and again by His Mercy I managed to keep my faith and found the correct sources of knowledge in my determination to please Allah alone. But believe me sister, it would have been much better for me if I had been supported as the Ansar supported the Muhajireen and as the Sahabah supported their new brothers and sisters as they entered the deen. We as new Muslims read about such things, but the sad truth is that now most often this is not the case, just as we read a learn about marriage, only to find that there are many brothers who are seeking to take advantage of many things from us such as passports, money, a ticket to freedom, or a second wife as what he considers to part of high status yet is for nothing other than more physical satisfaction out of boredom or lack of responsibility for his wives and families.

      May Allah guide us all to support one another and to not fear anything other than Him. We are accountable for what we do to Help and support His servants, and this means all Muslims not just reverts.

  79. know how it feels
    I think that most of us doesen´t necessary need answers to the questions because they are easily found online.What we really need is just someone to be there and to support us.If you feel that you are alone on the journey of islam then you start to give up and you don´t feel like you even want to learn something anymore.we need people who understand us because it´s impossible to talk about religous related feelings with non muslim family or friends because they will never understand.we need someone who will just be there when ever we need them and even push us to pray or learn at the times when we are feeling down or lazy.

    • sister Halima if u really have a good intension to help the reverts, then help them for the sake of Allah only without any doubt and Allah wil reward you abundantly insha Allah.

    • its really not a good idea to learn online though, the historic way to learn about islam is with a qualified and knowledgable sheikh, not google or islam q&a etc. Also, reverts tend to learn from people who aren’t qualified sheikhs or even that knowledgable because they don’t know the difference

  80. Any way to join solace team
    As salaamu walaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakahtuhu brothers and sisters. Ramadhan mubarak and may we all gain the pleasure and bounty of Allah in these last 10 days and may Allah allow us to complete this holy month

    I would be more than happy to help sisters who are new to the faith. if there is any way i can get aqainted with someone, it would be great.

  81. Mrs
    I live in Croydon, if there any sisters that would like company or support during this blessed month It’d be lovely to meet up x

    • بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

      sister , السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

      I have just read this and noticed your email is 3 years old so I don’t know whether you will get this but Insha’Allah if He wills I will hear back from you. I live in Croydon and could really do with a friend. You will be surprised at my story. If you get this then I pray you will respond, Insha’Allah.
      جزاكم الله خيرا

      وعليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته

      Your sister in Islam

      Syeda (kaisy765@hotmail.com)

  82. A twist on the regular shahaadah story…
    Alhamdulillah during the ongoing iERA Olympics Dawah Campaign – over 20 people have embraced Islam so far. The question that gets asked – What happens to the new Muslims???

    This is how Muslim Now and iERA treat shahaadahs:

    For every brother or sister who accepted Islam, details were logged; name, add, email and contact number by the dai’e and texted right away to a central mobile number to collect on a database.

    The New Muslim brothers were then taken to the New Muslim lead at the location, who welcomed the new brother, congratulated him for the amazing decision he has taken to submit to Allaah and encouraged him now to build a relationship with Allaah by doing what Allaah loves; and that He loves the most are the obligatory acts, and the best of these are the Salaah (prayer) and in this month the Siyaam (The fasts in Ramadan). The New Muslim brother was then given a DVD on the breakdown/how to make Salaah with an accompanying book to go with this (http://www.muslimnow.com/learn.html). They were then offered the opportunity to go to Goodge Street masjid where we had a team of brothers & sisters teaching people the Salaah.

    The New Muslim sisters were also taken to the New Muslim lead who did likewise as above, but then arranged a phone call with a sister who welcomed the New Muslimah sister arranging a time where they could possibly meet.

    The new Muslim brothers & sisters will then be contacted over the next few days; text/email inviting them to a free dinner, sent a New Muslim welcome pack free of charge (http://www.muslimnow.com/welcome.html) and invited The Journey of the Life | New Muslim Retreat

    Find out more about the retreat at http://www.IslamEssentials.org

  83. Light at the end of the tunnel!
    Jazakallah-khair for such an eye opening article.
    I would like to add that there are other support services out there for new muslims, in particular – Muslim Now which was set up by iERA (The Islamic Education and Research Academy) dedicated to welcome, empower and provide education for New Muslims.

    They currently are having Weekly Online classes with Abdurraheem Green focusing on Ramadan Essentials for new Muslims ( See https://www.facebook.com/events/165538650247247/)

    In addition they organise regular retreats for new Muslims to help build that solid foundation of Islam that Sr. Umm Raiyaan talked about. The next one, ‘The Journey of Life | Islam Essentials Series’ is at the end of august so if you know any new Muslims or are a new Muslim yourself then please visit http://www.IslamEssentials.org

  84. Converts/reverts/new Muslims leaving Islam.
    Jazakallah for your spot on article, which is so true, & makes us all feel sad & frustrated.:( I know the stark reality , as to why “New Muslims leave ( & return! to Islam ) im converted seven years, Alhamdiallah.;D Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world, & inshallah we can hold on to this fact, & give us strength. Yes, we need the correct on-going support, friendship, Islamic counseling, & a compatible husband, etc which i have had to find myself, & thru asking at various Masjids & thru Islamic lessons & conferences in Masjids & Halal meeting events. If new Muslims are shy to ask etc, then our Ummrah needs to change their attitudes, & stop viewing us as “spys”! Due to Islamophobia & mass hysteria & wars on Islam, born Muslims find it hard to trust recently converted Muslims! ( i find this is still true! so i have to earn their trust over seven long years) The Ummah needs to educate itself & join together globally, & view us as one, break down the barriers, & be “Muslims without Borders!” You can e.mail me on;- *** ( I have traveled all over the world, to many Muslim countries, Alhamdiallah) May Allah help us all, to help each other. SISTER LAIQUAH. London.

    *** Edited by Moderator.
    Please contact Support organisations such as SOLACE or initiatives in your locality and offer your help. May Allah reward you with goodness.

  85. islamic asistent
    bro. and sist.asslamu alaykum
    I lernt islamic course from alzahra you can joine too. go and see there education provide… spacily for youth and newmuslims. chec web islamicjameah.org.uk or contect islamicjameah@gmail.com allah is great .allah will help those who seek help from him
    wasslam:

  86. Not only reverts
    I feel saddened by Mandy’s experience since I UNDERSTAND how it feels not to be accepted by your so called religious group. Ironically I am a born muslim, raised in a small town in the US. When I moved to the city to go to university, that was the lonliest time of my life. Sisters qutie frankly are nto welcoming. Judgements of me not wearing the hijab was an issue. I can personally say that the experience of reverts of lonliness and community is not just theirs alone, but of born muslims as well. Our community relations just suck.

  87. was christian
    When I become christian they took me under their wing and never left my side I had church to go to church groups Home groups ect . But I found a faith the opened my heart Islam Like so many others It started fine but then nothing . Not that Im not willing to do my bit of discovery in Islam .
    but as they say leave a sheep on its own it will stray! But my sister friend are trying and I love them dearly . I feel so strong in my faith when with them but when Im on my own sometimes I feel like giving ou on it .

  88. – Many revert sisters are coerced by the ‘imaam’ to marry the wrong kind of pious-type brother
    Assalamu Alaikum Wrb..
    Dear revert sisters I feel your pain and empathise completely. There are even ‘born’ muslim brothers who struggle with their Deen and feel alone in Ramadhan. I dont come from a family which is ‘close knit’ and I have found myself over the past 10 years mostly breaking my fasts in Masjids or at restaurants.. The worst thing is in most of these Masjids to qualify for a “wife”, you need to be part of the ‘clique’ of Salaafi brothers.. Whose understanding of the Sunnah is ‘beard length’ and ‘have you shortened your trousers’> For all these ‘self-righteous’ brothers Emaan has to be worn on the thowb> The beautiful Sunnah of our beloved Prophet (pbuh)is restricted to superficial external show of piety> I am 34, and I am very angry inside not at Allah, as ALHAMDULILAH I accept it is Qadr that I am not married> I am just hurt, dissapointed that none of the brothers from the Masjid have helped me/introduced me to any sister for Marriage in 6 years..> I normally go to ‘Al-Muntada’ Masjid, the Imaam is a good brother MashaAllah but tells me that all the sisters who are registered with him are ‘divorced’.. And I havent heard back from him..> SubhanAllah when we look at the example of the Sahabah who would do ‘practical actions’ immediately for the Sake of Allah to relieve the pain/distress/burden of a Muslim..> These imaams/masjids are only interested in maintaining the status quo, and securing revenue streams for their staff members..
    May Allah guide them to Seerat ul Mustaqeem, AMEEN

  89. Assalam u Alaikum

    Brothers and sisters I am from Jalalabad, Afghanistan and It would be my pleasure to help reverts to be better Muslims. You can email me your questions and I will try to give you Illustrated answers. Now, I am helping a revert sister who is in Pownal, Vermont USA and I have friends in Washington DC, My brother is in Montreal, Quebec and I am available through Email anytime.
    Thanks

    • Thanks for your offer brother and am from Kenya struggling with new life as a Muslim having converted from Christianity. Kindly get in touch as the morale is low. Salaam Aleikum

  90. As salaamu Alaikum,

    Its important that the reverts have knowledge(at least Quran translation complete Quran.) early on. Without reading the translations of the whole Quran, you dont know what Islam is about. The religion is not about friends and family and walks in the park. This is a belief you accept from the start based on the knowledge of the Quran. So, reading the translation of the Quran early on is of critical importance. You accept islam is going to come with trials and tests to really find out if you are going to hold on to Islam or go back on your heels. All of that is in the Quran read it, or if you cant read listen to authentic translations and try hard to learn to read. The fact is many born muslims are lost about what islam really is about. not knowing islam except what their parents who may not have ever known islam from culture tell them. in addition Islam is not mastered in one day, you progress gradually and may even involve no progress if you dont make the effort. The types of effort needed are to just submit to the orders of Allaah and not follow your desires such as quitting cigarretes to please your creator and other desires. Islam contains effort and struggle to maintain it. This should be pointed out from the start without having to scare the people but as a reality check in to what to expect. And Allah has said that the one who fears the standing before his Lord(judgement day) and restrains the soul from desires. The reward for that is Jannah. All in all, either the case is one of lack of knowledge of Islam. Quran and Sunnah. Or, the ability to not follow the knowledge(following desires.) from any of those parties either from reverts or born muslims,although we are all born muslims. Also, lastly friends/family/close ones influence a person so, beware who you associate with. If your family is all kafir and you have no muslims around you go to a muslim area or suggest your family to move to an area where there is a muslim population. Or leave them if you are able to. If you have no friends, doesnt you are alone as sufficient is Allaah as an Ally and helper.

    Wassalaamu Alaikum.

    May we meet in Jannah. Aamiin.

    • Thats true about needing an english translation of the quran but that is almost always the case, the problem is when they just read the quran without a tafsir or they learn from the wrong ppl

  91. Abu Abdillah Shakir

    Subhaan Allaah !
    Assalaamu alaikum it’s an eye opener . May Allaah Azz wa jall make it easy.

  92. Very good article and I can relate
    Alhamdulilah, this was a very good article and so much truth in it. I live in the U.S. and I accepted Islam 7 years ago at the age of 40. It was Allah that guided me to Islam and it has been Allah that kept me on the straight path since then. I’ve had many struggles and could relate to so much of what the sister wrote here. The isolation was unbearable at times. I would go to my neighborhood masjid during ramadan only to have the immigrant sisters, by and large, leave me out of their conversations (Allah knows if they spoke English or just chose to speak in their native tongues with each other but it was isolating). I often felt they were even talking about me. Even though I am married now and this has helped immensely with my sense of loneliness and isolation, yet and still once you accept Islam, your whole life begins to change. In many ways you become a pariah, an outsider. I lost friends and my family has never really accepted my being a muslim. Eventoday when I visit my father he can’t help talking about religion and telling me that I’m going to hell. I also feel there are tons of racial issues amongst the muslims in the U.S. that shuts out African American reverts while embracing (to some degree) the caucasian reverts. The indo/pak/arab muslims are the worse at this. May Allah guide us and help us. I wish we had a group like SOLACE here in the U.S. May Allah reward your intentions. Ameen.

  93. Support ~
    As salaamu alikum,

    For any Muslim who needs support, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Masha-Allah I accepted Islam 20 years ago. Even if you just need someone to listen – I will do that too.

    Need help,
    Don’t know how to pray,
    Reciting even Al-Fatiha in Arabic, I will help with that also.

    Send an email.

    ***
    Dana

    *** Edited by Moderator.
    Please contact Support organisations such as SOLACE or initiatives in your locality and offer your help. May Allah reward you with goodness.

  94. I would be very willing to help Mandy if she is still about.

  95. subhanAllah your not alone!!!
    My name is Deborah I am a New Zealand revert now for 3 years, my husband also a NZmaori reverted 4 years ago Alhamdulillah. Trust me all the feelings you are going through we also went through and its not easy but you have to keep struggling on Ask Allah(swt) to send you a Good GOD fearing revert Sister to you, ask for things to be easy Allah knows all the hardships you going through you are never alone!! Here in NZ we have just started New Muslim Project through a trust that once to help people just like you with other reverts buddying up to ask & answer and support all these issues that we face. May Allah make things easy for us all and inshaAllah accept all our efforts & struggles for HIM the only 1 worth the struggle for. I wish I could be there to help you Sister please email me inshaAllah. Don’t Give up this life will be over before you know it!! May Allah keep us all in HIS mercy and guidence. Ameen. Much Love from New Zealand 😉

  96. Ms
    Salaam…..
    I would like to help in any way possible

  97. Ms
    Salaam ….Inshallah I would like to help, in any way possible….

    Jaza Kala khair…

  98. I can relate.
    Assalaamu alaikum and Ramadan mubarak.

    This was particularly meaningful to me as I face similar struggles. I first considered myself a “muslim” about three or four years ago. I live in a small town with no muslim community and most of my family/friends are anti-religious. I think you can imagine the difficult situation this put me in and needless to say I hardly practice Islam; all you really see me doing is reading the Qur’an, not eating pork, and fasting during ramadan. I have actually considered leaving Islam many times and actually did once a couple years ago before finally realizing I still had faith thus returning. Anyway, I don’t want to get into my life story here and just wanted to say that these things are very real challenges, especially for people like me who have never actually interacted with a real live muslim outside the internet.

  99. Allahu Akbar
    Didnt know our reverts brother/sister faced so much of hardship by our own hands… May Allah guide and help us all… Insha Allah Ameen

  100. Suleman Johnson

    Good Article
    Assalam Alaykum. The article was very good. Being a Muslim for over 11 years I can see similar experiences that I had myself. Ramadam for be is bittersweet. On the one hand I can devote myself to more worship, studying,etc. On the other hand I am reminded of how lonely I am since my family is not Muslim, neither is my wife ( who I separated from a long time ago).I feel this escepically during Eid since I see other families celebrating while I have no one to celebrate with. During the Christian hoildays I keep myself to myself as I have no wish to go back to their disbelief since I am now a Muslim. I have two children and the only contact I have with them is though the mother, I cannot take them out on my own and show them Islam.
    But this comment is not meant to provoke symapathy or pity. Like many new revents, I did not become Muslim for anybody else except for myself. I have no regreds at all. It was/is the best decision of my life and no matter what the cost, inshallah I will contiune to be a Muslim and stay in this state intil Allah takes my soul.
    I will end this comment with two pieces of advise. One for new/revents Muslims and the other for Muslims who have Muslims families.
    1. (New/ Revernts Muslims). Read the Qur’an (English Translation). Appiled what is said to your situation now.
    Read the Noble Life of the Prophet (PBUH)Vol 1 by Dr. Ali Muhammad As-Sallaabee. In it you will find accounts of how the Early Muslims suffer and were tested for being Muslim, but none of them left Islam. They went thought the same trials as most new Muslims.
    2. (Muslims with Muslims families). Take care of the new reverts. Remember they have only enter into Islam for a short time. They will not pick up the laws of Islam all at once. Most new reverts do not want help with money, they want emotional support. Remember that they are now your brother or sister. Treat them as such.
    To end, this is a very good article. Hopefully the author can expand on this with another one.

    Alaykum Assalam.

  101. Tobias/Umar Taitt

    The lady doth protest to much
    I’d like to second the Saeed Mohammed comment and add something of my own inshaAllah. The title is not only misleading but an ill advised fitna causer like the 3 million Indonesians leaving Islam every year email doing the rounds. As a convert/revert of 21 years and someone activly involved in dawah for 20 years, I’ve seen my fair share of those who embraced Islam (both new Muslims and those Muslim in name only)and guess what? Sometimes they just don’t cut the mustard.This is no different to the time of our beloved prophet (s). Not only did people struggle with their deen during the Prophets (s) lifetime they rejected Islam (some were scribs who wrote down the Quran). This sisters saying that after 5 years she hasnt learnt her prayer.Phfft, sorry, but I smell a rat. When I embraced in 1991 there were NO convert/dawah organisations,becoming a Muslim was an honour I didnt expect to be carried. Those ‘teaching’ new Muslims would be better of explaining this to converts, if you want help theres untold brothers and sisters ready to help. FACT! And sadly theres always going to be those who (deep down) don’t really want to be helped. O you who believe, do you think you can say I believe and I won’t test you. Quran. Nuff said. For those who’d like to learn 5 tips on khushoo in salah please go to http://www.w4jummah.org and click on the link ‘every muslim should know the answer to.’ Ramadan Kareem peeps!

  102. Thank you for this article
    To everybody, i recommmend the books of Jeffrey Lang. An american ex-atheist who converted to Islam. He’s very smart and candid about his conversion, as well as the challenges muslims or converts face.
    One of his lectures i liked very much is called The Purpose of Life.

  103. Salaam
    I’d also try to help any reverts. My e-mail is *** and I live in the UK (London area).

    *** Edited by Moderator.
    Please contact Support organisations such as SOLACE or initiatives in your locality and offer your help. May Allah reward you with goodness.

  104. The Solutions
    Assalamualaikum,

    I want to share how I took an original approach to live Islam with my new revert wife. I took the way Prophet Muhammad (Peace Upon Him) and his companions experiences Islam that is to focus on Iman first. Knowing ALLAH is a prerequisite before solat, fasting, and other obligations as the Prophet only solat 5 times a day, 13 years after the first revelation. So they have 13 years to build their Iman..we could not expect less.

  105. Assalam u alikum
    I would like to help out any Muslim revert sisters in any way I can
    I can help them to learn about Islam or even if they just want to talk, be friends anything at all
    My email is ***

    *** Edited by Moderator.
    Please contact Support organisations such as SOLACE or initiatives in your locality and offer your help. May Allah reward you with goodness.

  106. Be determined not to Quit
    I wish to encourage those of you who have accepted Islam please do not give up for Allah tells us in Quran that your condition will be worse than it was before you accepted Islam should you go back to jahillya.Another very important thing to bear in mind is that some Muslims are not as well informed as it may seem. Many who came from mMuslim parents are sometimes struggling more than the revert to hold on to Islam but you will not know unless you are closely associated with the person or persons. Many muslims raised in a Muslim family need help themselves. I have first hand exposure to that.Many Muslims need to be given the dawah too but this is another topic for a another time. A very important factor is that our Muslims need to be empathetic but it is difficult to empathise when you have no clue of what to expect in the new life of the revert.Recently those who were learners of Arabic were being thought by a teacher from a foreign land. Most of the learners were adults and well educated but Arabic being new to them they made mistakes in pronunciation which children from the teacher’s home country would not have made. I witnessed the conspicuous disgust and anger displayed by the teacher. These are important things to take into consideration by those who are helping reverts.Muslims must also realize that degrees in Islam are not tantamount to piety or righteousness, so you figure the rest. Sisters who are reverts and those who are not should never rush in to marriage. Some of us don’t really understand the responsibility that goes along with Nikkah. It is not a sport.Brothers when you mess up know that you are answerable to Allah.Sisters do not allow yourselves to the victims of those who just want to be tasters.You should thoroughly screen the would be husband.Sisters try to find a husband who is able to support you emotionally,spiritually and economically. Ensure that you can both sit and converse at a level you are both comfortable with if you cannot do so you are both heading towards lonely lives. Try to be astute.
    jannah is not cheap. Face the ups and downs. Perform the salah and make dua. Dont turn back. Use wisdom in your transition form Ignorance to Islam.You will not always be able to meet immediately the full requirements of Islam as demanded but work sincerely towards that.Reverts,I know this may be difficulty but strive for independence.Allah is the only one Who is not tired of frequent requests.Actually Allah loves to be asked often. Humans get tired if they are asked too often. May Allah help us all. Ameen.

  107. Most victims are female. Is it because most UK mosques only cater for males? I think so.

  108. This is a reminder
    This is the reminder for me to purchase gifts to my revert friends. One is divorcee who I invited to pray in musalla and she did not even reached the place and turned back to her house. When I asked to why she did not come, she repled:” I could not bear to see all this happy families and I am alone”. I will make time for her to go and spend an hour with her and her children and visit another newly wed revert sister who is learning the diyn on Eid. We need to support them emotionally, they do feel down at times…

  109. In my experience…this is not uncommon…
    The post is not describing something unusual to me…common but not talked about.
    If you want to..contact the New Muslims Project from The Islamic Foundation (.org I think…based in Leicester). They will provide you with all the support you need…Masjid’s can be very restricted (either language, politics, ethnic groups, sect etc) and can feel intimidating…I have been a revert for more than two decades now (alHamdulillah)and was viewed as an oddity (young (I was 16), white, didn’t have ‘Muslim boyfriend’ (why would you come to Islam…?was implied)). I came across many sisters from varied countries and found the variety of practices/thoughts etc only confused the issue more. As long as you have Iman in your heart then that is the best foundation. You are judged on how much you know and how you impliment it…the number of years etc is not important.
    If you wish to contact me…feel free to and we’ll see what we can do…
    Don’t beat yourself up about it…
    Take care.

  110. new muslimah
    to bad I wrote down my most meaningful thoughts on this and it did not post. just goes to show how alone i am. Not going to write it all again :(

  111. New revert ( only 1 yr old )
    I am a new revert of only 1 year and sometimes i feel shunned by other muslimahs because i am not yet praying 5 times a day and i am not participating in Ramadan yet. I am alone because my husband is in his country during this time and he is celebrating with his family and friends there. I do not look forward to Ramadan or Eid. I feel like a failure. I am a smoker ( my age is 43 ) and have been since i was 10 years old. I am having a real hard time stopping, so i am not able to participate in Ramadan. The day I reverted I stopped doing drugs and alcohol with ease, but the cigerettes are so much harder to put down, people ( muslims say it is haraam to smoke ) and act like i should be able to just stop because it is haraam, AGAIN I FAIL ISLAM…. I cant stop smoking, participate in Ramadan or Eid and I do not pray 5 times a day or attend Jummah… ( I have other reasons for not going to the masjid ). It seems only my husband understands me and supports me fully. But with him gone “I am alone”…
    I dont know who to listen to, because I see sisters who do not cover completely ( which my husband requires I do ), some show their necks and wear jewelery, some wear short sleeve shirts, some call Azan, some talk only of war and fighting, and the list goes on and on. I follow only the Quran and Sunnah and my understanding is that others do to, but they interpret them differently. It is all very confussing. When i reverted so many people said “Islam is easy”, that is not true for me, Islam is one of the most difficult tasks I have ever taken on. I will NEVER InshyaALLAH leave Islam, because I love ALLAH my King. I just wish I wasnt so confused and felt so alone. :(

    • Salaam Aleykoum, dear sister, I am like you a revert. Even though Allah had made it very easy for me to become Muslim, I recognise the struggle and the incapacity of people who are born Muslim to understand the struggle of us reverts. It is a shame that you can not experience Ramadam together with your husband. It is easier to do this with the support of your husband and community then on your own. But do not feel like a failure my sister. It is very hard to feel connected to Ramadan if there is no one to share it with or to ask support from. Now I must admit that because so many are not aware of our inner Jihad to be a good Muslim you are feeling that you have to figure this one out all on your own. Do you have any Muslim convert sisters that you know or are there any Muslim sisters as friends that live near you? I am 46 and I used to smoke, so I understand how challenging it can be. Did you try the patches or maybe try a hypno therapist? Most importantly be patient with yourself and Insh Allah, Allah will help you. Take one day at a time. In the beginning I also found it difficult to do my prayers 5 times a day. I thought after doing Alhamdulillah Hajj that it would come natural. Now I am getting into a place that I feel that my day is not going well for me if I do not pray. My husband said to me that of all the things Allah asks us this is the one requirement that is easier to fulfil. And if we do not pray and not take our time to be grateful to what Allah gives us then when will we. I start seeing it now as my private moment with Allah, my private chat and, meditation. I was born and raised in Holland so I learned my prayers phonetically. My daughter of six is way better in Arabic then I am and I struggle in learning but I am not giving up and take it one day at a time. I became Muslim and felt for the first time in my life that I was home, this feeling was only deepened as I went on Hajj. As for the sisters that you see around you: Most born Muslims mix tradition with Islam and get confused so the fact that they were born into it does not mean that they should not learn. If your husband is from for example Pakistan they will follow in general Hanafi school. My husband is from Egypt and even though I live in a Pakistani/ Malaysian location I connect a little easier with the Arabic Muslim community. Islam is not difficult but very straight forward we people make it difficult because we do not know how to integrate Islam in our daily lives. Please do not give up sister and if you want have chat Insh Allah I am there. I learned over the years that you have to develop yourself: Read, register yourself for example on the online university of doctor bilal phillips and learn about Aqeedah and Tawheed. We need to develop ourselves and gain knowledge so that our Deen will become stronger and we will know what we want and who we are, but most of all understand what Allah asks from us. My dear sister our journey has just begun and you may feel lonely but you are never alone. For the sake of Allah I care for you my sister and hope that we can support each other in our struggle in becoming truly who we are: Muslim.

      • Jazakallahu Kahairan Sister in Islam. You said so much it is hoped she will reason with you.

        My further advice to her is to dedicate herself to prayer to Allah (SWT) to solve all the challenges she is facing. The most important thing is the faith and she has it.

        Anything good in life is usually carrying serious challenges, especially for someone to change or convert to another religion.

  112. A sad story but one wonders if the sister felt the same way about her faith pre-Ramadan? I know a lot of people find Ramadan a particularly difficult experience whether new to Islam or not and we must ask ourselves why she accepted Islam in the first place, the article is a little vague,not enough background. There are lots of places on the net where you can find out about everything concerning Islam, it couldn’t be a more informative place. Also most cities have group sessions for new Muslims. The thing is if you really love Islam for what is really is about then no amount of lonliness will change anything, you have the love of Allah (swt), that’s enough in anyone’s books.

  113. being a ‘new’ muslim
    I have not had such a hard time as this sister, as I had a lovely Pakistani family take me under their wings for months.
    However, my family have almost totally rejected me, which is VERY hard. Also, I made a clean break from my old life so, only recently, after 6 years, met up with Christian friends, from my past.
    They were shocked at who I have become, not because I am a radiant believer (I hope I was that, as a Christian) but because I am subdued,no loner joking/laughing, seeming to be happy.
    This has made me really ponder WHO I AM, WHO HAVE I BECOME.
    I am wearing clothes that look more Asian than British, do not take care of myself as before, as hair is covered and I do not wear make-up any more.
    I have had three disastrous proposals of marriage, over the 6 years, and alhamdulillah, none worked out.

    Should I, as an older woman, have to consider being a 2nd wife? Islam is misunderstood/ misrepresented enough in the UK, without forcing this issue down British throats. PLUS I do not think it will ever be acceptable, yet so may new muslim men, think they can take another wife and if the first one disagrees, just divorce her and plunge her onto benefits!
    Sister, if you want to email me, please do and I shall call you if necessary and open my home to you.
    The question of Arabic is another sticky point, as no one, in the muslim community, really caters for new muslims to learn it. Plus where is there an English mosque?? we have to attend masjids, where the lingua franca is Urdu or Turkish.
    Hey, wake up, Umma! Are you praying for Allah to touch hearts in UK? If so, be ready, there will be a turning to Islam but I am not sure the present-day masjids will be responsible.
    So many folk are questioning, searching and do believe in One God but no one is telling them the beauty of Rasoolullah (saw) and how we muslims are also waiting for Isa (aws). So many similarities with christianity, far more than nay differences, yet Islam is seen as Pakistani/Bengali etc and I am sorry to say, some muslims cannot accept new muslims as being proper muslims.
    It is enough to say,’La illaha illallah’ to enter Paradise and the churches do believe that, however confused they are about Isa (aws).

    I say to this sister, it is enough, in these days, for you to put your head down in sajdah and say, ‘I believe there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His Prophet’. IF that is all you can do, Allah bless you.

  114. An Eye-Opener
    Subhanallah, this is a very sad piece, but unfortunately one that needed to be written. I was unaware that reverts were so neglected sometimes, and I find myself angry that this is the case. It is simply unacceptable that we invite non-Muslims into our beautiful deen, and then as they take shahadah, we abandon them. What kind of image of Islam does this present to the new revert?

    I think the brother’s post about the supposed inappropriateness of the title completely misses the point. The question is a valid one, and an appropriate title for this piece. It is our responsibility to address this issue and correct ourselves accordingly. Regrettably, I doubt that many will. We’ll simply make our excuses to defend the indefensible, or we’ll just go away having read this article and forgetting its lessons before Maghrib. I, for one, intend to be more caring towards reverts in my community insha’Allah.

    I’m going to borrow the dua from a previous comment because it really is beautiful. May Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala make firm our feet on His Straigh Path, and secure our graspe on His Rope that our hearts never deviate from His Way for us. May He Subhana wa ta’ala bestow upon us all Tafiq that we be able to do deeds that bring us closer to His Pleasure in this life and in the Hereafter that we be among those whose pleasure is Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala. Aameen.

  115. Saeed Mohammed

    Why are new muslims leaving Islam?
    The title of the article “why new muslims are leaving Islam” is not relevant at all. Its understood that titles are selected to grab readers’ attention. Unfortunately, sometimes the titles of articles are so irrelevant that they lack common sense! The title of this article sends negative message not only against Muslims but Islam as whole!! Why have you not set the title as “Challenges faced by New Muslims” or “Hardships faced by New Muslims” or “Challenges & Oppurtunities for New Muslims”

    • Sorry, but it’s the truth. These are the exact reason reverts are leaving. I know because I am one and if it wasn’t for online Muslim communities I would’ve left long ago not knowing anything and unable to learn on my own. This article brings up legitimate points that need to be addressed and not ignored because it reflects badly on the community,

      • If there is anything we can do, plse drop a note…My wife is also a revert and she will be more than happy, even if it means providing a listening year. My Allah guide us all.

  116. A sad but much needed reminder
    I think this is a situation that female reverts will suffer from more than their male counterparts. I sympathise and our apathy in helping reverts is inexcusable. We owe a duty of care to all our fellow brothers and sisters.

    I’m glad to see the likes of SOLACE really help our brothers and sisters however, I feel that many grievances remain undocumented.

    Insh’Allah we will support our brothers and sisters as best we can.

  117. Aiysha-Safiyyah@hotmail.com

    AssalamuAlaikum WaRahmatullahi WaBarakatuh
    Alhamdulillah Rabbil Alameen! JazakAllah Khair for your having included me in this post – I thought it was just me who use to feel like sister Mandy describes. It can be a lonely journey on the Way to Allah and still at times I feel it. I have been a Muslim now since 2006 Alhamdulillah and I have never been able to experience Ramadan as those who are born into this Deen do. It is often said that as a revert to Islam there is so much Blessing, Alhamdulillah that this be true InshaAllah, but the blessing of one who was brought up in the folds of Islam are often overlooked by those that have been. The very least of which being the bond that there is within the family, InshaAllah. When many reverts are shunned by their own birth families (so to speak) we have no where to turn but to Allah Subhana wa ta’ala, and sometimes it feels like we are out in the cold. Islam is for a revert a journey into the unknown, while our hearts know the direction we wish to go, our feet do not know that steps that need to be taken. JazakAllah Khair for your post, because it give permission for we who have felt that something is seriously missing in our journey to acknowledge in our hearts what that really is. JazakAllah Khair for the advice that you give to those who meet reverts along the way for it brings awarness where maybe there was not before. May Allah Subhana wa ta’ala make firm our feet on His Straigh Path, and secure our graspe on His Rope that our hearts never deviate from His Way for us. May He Subhana wa ta’ala bestow upon us all Tafiq that we be able to do deeds that bring us closer to His Pleasure in this life and in the Hereafter that we be among those whose pleasure is Allah Subhana wa ta’ala. Aameen sum Aameen

    AssalamuAlaikum

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