It used to be said that “it takes a village to raise a child”. But in 2025-26, many of us are parenting alone — physically, emotionally, and even digitally. The village is gone, the smartphones are on, and our children are paying the price.
When I was growing up, it wasn’t just Mum or Dad who kept an eye on us. Aunties, uncles, grandparents, neighbours — even the corner shop owner — all played their part. Someone always noticed if you were up to no good. Someone always had time for a story, a warning, a hug.
The vanishing village
Today, that network has all but collapsed. Urbanisation has scattered families across cities and continents. Economic pressures mean parents work longer hours or juggle multiple jobs. Single parents shoulder the load entirely. Grandparents are often far away.
The result? Many children now rely on just one or two adults — sometimes only a single parent — for everything: food, transport, emotional support, boundaries, moral guidance. When those adults are exhausted, stressed, or absent, children turn to their peers or, increasingly, their screens for answers.
As education expert Sue Palmer argues in her book Toxic Childhood, the erosion of stable family and community life has left children without the multiple adult role models that help them develop resilience, discipline, and empathy. Without that “village”, there’s no one to catch early warning signs or offer guidance outside the parent-child dynamic. [1]
And it’s not just the children who suffer. Parents are running on empty. Without relatives or neighbours to share the load, there are no breaks, no breathing space, no adult conversation. No wonder so many parents report burnout — or that rates of parental stress and post-natal depression are rising.
Technology is the new babysitter
If the missing village is one half of the story, the rise of technology is the other. We hand children devices to keep them quiet, and we turn to our own screens to cope. But this bargain comes at a cost.
Researchers call it “technoference” — when parents are distracted by devices during family time. A 2023 review in BMC Public Health found that children whose parents were often on phones or laptops reported more anxiety, more behaviour problems, and a weaker sense of security. [2]
Then there’s what happens on children’s own screens. Social media turns playground drama into a 24-hour reality show. Cyber-bullying follows kids into their bedrooms. Algorithms feed them content they’re not emotionally ready for. Sleep, attention spans, and self-esteem suffer.
Sue Palmer warned nearly two decades ago that “screen saturation” was undermining children’s language skills, emotional development, and ability to play outdoors. Today, her warning feels almost prophetic.
The price we’re paying
Without a village and with too much tech, we risk raising a generation less resilient, less connected, and less grounded.
- Children lean more on peers — and peer culture is not always kind.
- Parents burn out, leading to harsher discipline or emotional withdrawal.
- Communities weaken as families live parallel lives behind closed doors.
The World Health Organization (WHO) has already identified social isolation as a public health risk. Childhood is where that isolation begins. [3]
How we rebuild
We cannot simply accept this as the new normal. Here’s what I believe we must do:
1 | Rebuild the village, deliberately
Invite friends, relatives, and neighbours into your children’s lives. Choose mentors, godparents, trusted family friends. Even one or two extra adults can make a child feel seen and supported.
2 | Support parents, not just children
Local councils, charities, and schools can help by offering affordable childcare, parenting groups, and safe community spaces. After all, parents need connection too.
3 | Delay the tech
There is no rush to put a smartphone in a child’s hand. I believe social media should be delayed until at least 16. Keep phones out of bedrooms at night. Have tech-free meals. And model the behaviour — if we’re always scrolling, they will be too.
4 | Talk, play, connect
The most radical thing we can do is slow down enough to talk and listen — to each other and to our children. Relationships beat notifications every time.
The takeaway?
We can’t recreate the 1950s. But we can choose to create micro-villages today: groups of adults who share values, who show up for one another, who give our children a circle of safety and guidance beyond the nuclear family.
If we do nothing, we leave children to be raised by TikTok trends, Instagram filters, and playground gossip. If we act, we can give them what they really need: more trusted adults, more conversation, more humanity.
It does take a village to raise a child. It always has. Let’s build one again.
Source: Islam21c
Notes
[1] Palmer, S. (2006) Toxic childhood: How the modern world is damaging our children and what we can do about it. London: Orion.
[3] https://www.weforum.org/stories/2023/11/who-lonelines-health-priority-weekly-health-roundup/
