RSE myths blocking parents from guarding schoolchildren

There are at least ten myths around RSE (Relationships and Sex Education) in England’s schools. These myths are preventing parents from taking effective action to protect their children from inappropriate teaching.

Contents

Primary schools must teach sex education topics Right to withdraw from such classes no longer exists Primary schools have to teach same-sex family structures Schools are under no obligation to show you learning materials Schools have no freedom to adapt resources used for higher year groups Schools have no responsibility to consider my child’s religious background Schools do not have to consult parents on what they teach during RSE Parents of secondary school children cannot withdraw from sex education classes Parents cannot force schools to make changes to how and when RSE is taught We can only make a difference by protesting outside schools or taking them to court Also read

Now remember, knowledge is power. So just because you cannot change everything, it doesn’t mean you cannot and should not change some things.

Safeguarding all children from inappropriate content is a noble action which Allah (subḥānahu wa ta’āla) sees. He will reward us for this! So let us take a look at these ten misconceptions, state the reality, and offer actions for each.

Primary schools must teach sex education topics

Reality: this is not correct.

Sex education in primary schools is not a statutory requirement. In fact, schools can decide to not teach it at all.

Action: ask the school to consider not teaching sex education as a standalone subject.

Right to withdraw from such classes no longer exists

Reality: this is not the case.

Parents have the right to withdraw their children from all sex education topics in primary schools.

It is true that schools must teach about the signs of puberty, and reproduction in plants and animals in primary science. But if a school is teaching about human reproduction in primary science classes, parents must challenge this.

Action: refer to the school’s RSE policy on how you can withdraw your child from sex education classes.

Primary schools have to teach same-sex family structures

Reality: this is not accurate. There is no legal basis for this.

Schools must teach about different types of families, but the government has clarified that this is only a requirement in secondary schools.

In fact, there are many primary schools that don’t teach children about families with two dads or two mums. If a school in insistent on teaching this, parents must ensure it’s taught in a factual way without promoting certain types of families.

Action: ask your child’s school whether it includes same-sex families in Relationships Education (RE) classes. Ask it to consider not doing so, or at least to teach this in a factual way.

Schools are under no obligation to show you learning materials

Reality: the former Secretary of State for Education, Gillian Keegan, twice wrote to schools in 2023, reminding them that they must show parents all the RSE materials they use.

Action: contact the school and ask to view all of the RSE materials.

Schools have no freedom to adapt resources used for higher year groups

Reality: the RSE curriculum, as set out by the Department for Education (DfE), is clear that schools can and must respond to the needs of their communities in how and when they teach RSE.

Schools can adapt the materials and delay a topic to a later year group, based on strong parental feedback.

Action: after you have looked at the materials, write to the school with any feedback you have on what you think is inappropriate. Give suggestions for changes (e.g. removing a worksheet or moving some topics to later year groups).

You can also try and get changes made to the RSE policy based on your feedback (see myth 7).

Schools have no responsibility to consider my child’s religious background

Reality: the statutory guidance makes clear that a school must take into account the religious background of pupils when planning their RSE programme.

Action: ask your child’s school how they have taken into account your child’s religious background when planning and teaching RSE.

Schools do not have to consult parents on what they teach during RSE

Reality: legally, a school must involve parents when the RSE policy is reviewed.

The RSE policy should set out the name of the materials, when it’s taught, what’s statutory and what isn’t, how parents are consulted, what parents can withdraw from, how parents can withdraw, and the rules governing how teachers answer questions that go beyond the primary level.

The RSE policy should be a meaningful document. But, unfortunately, most are based on boiler-plate templates.

Parents must use the review process as an opportunity to feed back concerns, offer suggestions in order to make the RSE policy more meaningful, and to help shape the way RSE is taught in the school.

Action: parents should look at the RSE policy to identify what’s what.

Check the date of review and contact the school 3-6 months before then, and ask how parents like you can support the school to fulfil their legal responsibility to engage in school-parent consultation.

Parents of secondary school children cannot withdraw from sex education classes

Reality: as a parent, you can still withdraw up to three terms before your child turns 16.

If you do withdraw, when your child turns 15, they’ll have the right to decide whether to remain withdrawn or to opt into sex education classes.

Action: refer to the RSE policy to find out how you can withdraw.

Try to make your child a part of the decision, so they understand why they are being withdrawn.

Parents cannot force schools to make changes to how and when RSE is taught

Reality: parents do not have a veto on what is taught, but they can have a significant influence. The problem is most parents never raise concerns or feed back to schools.

We’ll only have a chance to influence teaching if we approach schools in a constructive manner, recognising we can’t change everything. But communicating your concerns makes a bigger difference than waiting for change to happen without engaging.

Action: focus on actions within your sphere of control, follow through on them and try to get other parents on board.

We can only make a difference by protesting outside schools or taking them to court

Reality: the recent past has shown us that school protests can easily be discredited. The media can mischaracterise parents as troublemakers, bigots, and homophobes. They can give the impression that parents are making unreasonable demands from schools that are trying their best.

It is therefore inadvisable to protest. Also, recourse to the law can be expensive, slow, and yield little positive results.

Action: think strategically about the changes you would like to see, enter into a constructive dialogue with schools, and focus on the actions that enable you to achieve meaningful and lasting change.