بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
الحمد لله رب العلمين والصلاة والسلام على رسوله الأمين وآله أجمعين
In the previous article, we covered points of advice directed towards the seriously ill patients, particularly those approaching death. This article will cover areas of guidance for the relatives of such patients.
Often overlooked, a severe illness can be a trial for the relatives and close friends of the patient as much as it is for the patient themselves! Therefore, they are also in need of a reminder of the virtues and wisdoms of being afflicted with such a trial and the best manner to cope with such a test.
We are also tested by a loved one’s illness
The distress and anxiety felt by the relatives of a loved one are no doubt a means for their sins to be expiated.
Abu Hurayrah (radiy Allahu ‘anhu) narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said,
“The believer continues to be afflicted in his children and close ones until he meets Allah with no wrong actions.” [1]
Witnessing a relative’s severe illness should stimulate self-reflection; the clear weakness of the human being and the inevitability of health, strength, and life being superseded by disorder, frailty, and death.
This should naturally lead to an increase in humility, gratitude, tawbah (repentance), and ‘ibādah (worship), as well as to serve as a reminder of the importance of working for the next and everlasting life.
We are strongly urged to visit the sick
One of the lofty merits of Islam is the strong emphasis the divine texts put on taking care of and supporting the weak and vulnerable around us, who could otherwise easily be overlooked due to the dynamics of daily life.
There are numerous texts concerning the welfare of the poor, the elderly, orphans, wayfarers, slaves, children, widows, and the sick.
Although there are countless specific virtues for assisting each category, there is a general principle found in the Sharī’ah which states that if you help others during their time of need, you will be helped in your time of need.
As stated in the hadīth,
“And Allah will be at the aid of His slave as long as His slave is at the aid of his brother.” [2]
Allah has ordered us to visit the sick and made this a right of the believer upon his brother and sister.
In fact, it is on par with feeding the poor, freeing slaves [3], returning the Salām (greetings), and following the janaza (funeral procession). [4]
In certain cases, some scholars argue that it is a must
Although the baseline opinion of the majority of scholars is that visiting the sick is sunnah, some of the scholars within this opinion add that if no-one visits a sick person, the ruling advances to being wājib (compulsory), especially concerning close relatives. [5]
Moreover, a number of notable scholars also held the opinion that the default ruling for visiting the sick is fard al-kifāyah (a communal obligation). [6] This is based on the texts placing significance on this act by either commanding the visiting of the sick or stating that it’s the right of the patient upon the believers.
For the communal obligation, this may be especially true when it comes to revert Muslims who may not have the luxury of being visited by any immediate or extended families. The Muslim community, especially those in positions of leadership and influence, need to fill in that void and offer much-needed comfort and solace to revert Muslim brothers and sisters.
Does it matter what kind of illness it is?
In relation to the patient and type of illness, the exhortation to visit the sick is general and all-inclusive.
The Prophet ﷺ would visit the sick from his family and close companions, as well as children and (non-resident) nomads, and even non-Muslims. [7]
With regards to the medical condition, anyone with an acute problem requiring them to stay at home comes under those that are encouraged to be visited. [8] For instance, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ visited Zayd ibn al-Arqām (radiy Allahu ‘anhu) who had a relatively minor ailment: inflammation of the eye. [9]
Moreover, he ﷺ visited those on their deathbeds, as well as those who were unconscious and likely to be completely unaware of the visit. [10]
Virtues of visiting
Enjoying the fruits of Paradise and the Mercy of Allah
Describing the reward of the one visiting the sick to the one who continues to freely pick the ripe fruits of Jannah, Thawbān (radiy Allahu ‘anhu) narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said,
“Indeed, when the Muslim visits his Muslim brother (who is not well), then he wades within the khurfah (fruits that have been picked) of Jannah.” [11]
He ﷺ also said,
“When a person visits the sick, he enters into the Mercy (of Allah) and when he sits (with the sick person), he settles in it.” [12]
Furthermore, it was narrated from the Prophet ﷺ:
“There is no Muslim who visits his Muslim brother, except Allah sends forth seventy thousand angels that send salutations upon him, from whatever moment of the (visit during the) day until night, and from whatever moment of the (visit during the) night until the morning.” [13]
Reinforcing spiritual and civil brotherhood
There are a number of other merits to this righteous deed.
The act is a demonstration of rahma (compassion) and ihsān (kindness) to one of Allah’s creation. It brings together and strengthens the ties of kinship, as well as religious and civil brotherhood.
In addition, the visit presents an opportunity to give company, uplift the morale of the patient, and make du’ā for them, as well as it serving as a reminder for the visitor. [14]
Seeking protection from a similar illness
Lastly, visiting the sick is one of the best opportunities to ask Allah to spare us from a similar illness, regardless of how severe or common, that the patient is suffering from.
The Prophet ﷺ said,
“Whoever sees a person being afflicted with a trial or sickness and recites:
الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي عَافَانِي مِمَّا ابْتَلَاكَ بِهِ، وَفَضَّلَنِي عَلَى كَثِيرٍ مِمَّنْ خَلَقَ تَفْضِيلًا
‘All praises be to Allah, who has spared me from that with which He has tested you and has favoured me over many of those whom He has created.’
…he shall not be struck by that affliction.” [15]
Etiquettes of visiting
Good etiquette starts by planning an appropriate time, the duration of stay, and frequency of the visits.
A number of scholars did recommend that it is best to only make short, infrequent visits to prevent the patient from being irritated and to allow enough space and time for rest and recovery. [16]
However, such decisions are best made in light of what would be most appropriate to the patient. This would vary according to the specific rest, diet, and care needs of the patient, your relationship with them, and the number of other relatives and friends visiting.
Another factor to consider when deciding on times, frequency, and length of the visit would be if you feel the patient is more likely to benefit from and feel comforted by your regular presence. [17]
Follow the example of the best of mankind ﷺ
The best customs to follow during the visit have been demonstrated to us by the Prophet ﷺ, who was of exemplary character. [18]
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ, when visiting the sick, would sometimes go alone and sometimes with a group of his companions. However, he ﷺ was very particular not to cause any discomfort to the patient or be a burden on their family.
He ﷺ would instruct his family members to prepare and send food to those households that were struck with grief due to the loss of a loved one, such as in the case of Ja‘far ibn Abī Tālib (radiy Allahu ‘anhu).
Rather than burdening the patient or their family with preparing food for the visitors, we need to proactively alleviate some of the financial, mental, and emotional hardships they may be going through.
Once the Prophet ﷺ entered upon the patient, he would draw close to them, sitting close to their head-side and would ask them how they were feeling.
Upon entering, he ﷺ would also say,
لاَ بَأْسَ طَهُورٌ إِنْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ
“May it not be harmful but a purification (from sins), God willing.” [19]
It was also narrated that he ﷺ would ask if they wished something to eat or drink. And if they did, he ﷺ would arrange it for them. [20]
Occasionally, he ﷺ would place his hand on their head and stroke it to console them. Sometimes, he ﷺ would place his right hand on the chest and abdomen of the sick person [21] and recite the following du’ā:
اللَّهُمَّ رَبَّ النَّاسِ، أذْهِب البَأسَ، اشْفِ أنْتَ الشَّافِي لاَ شِفَاءَ إِلاَّ شِفاؤكَ، شِفَاءً لاَ يُغَادِرُ سَقماً
“O Allah, Lord of mankind, remove the harm (disease), and cure him/her — You are the perfect curer, there is no cure but through You — a cure that leaves no trace of disease.” [22]
Occasionally, he ﷺ would repeat the du’ā three times, like when he said:
“O Allah, cure Sa’d; O Allah, cure Sa’d; O Allah, cure Sa’d.” [23]
And sometimes, he ﷺ would repeat the following seven times,
أَسْأَلُ اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ رَبَّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ أَنْ يَشْفِيَكَ
“I ask Allah, the Most Great and Exalted, the Lord of the great and exalted throne, that He cures you.” [24]
There are many other methods of Prophetic treatment that you could advise or perform for the patient.
One may read Qur’ān, particularly the opening chapter (Sūrat al-Fatiha), and then “dry spit” (from the Arabic tafl — which is a light form of spitting where it’s mostly air with very slight moisture) directly onto the sore area or into the palms and then wipe over the affected area or body. [25]
We also know that consuming honey, black seed, and Zamzam water are all effective means for shifā (healing).
Have hope that they will recover
The visitors should be optimistic about recovery back to health and instil this in the one they are visiting.
When the Prophet ﷺ visited Sa’d ibn Abī Waqqās (radiy Allahu ‘anhu) — who feared that his illness was terminal — he ﷺ said:
“Perhaps you will have a long life in which you will benefit some groups of people and harm others.” [26]
A noteworthy tradition amongst the Arabs, which was endorsed by the Prophet ﷺ and his Companions, was that they would use antonyms to entitle potentially pessimistic circumstances, such as sālih (wholesome) and salīm (healthy) when referring to someone not well. [27]
Be sensitive to culture and preferences of the patient
Lastly, we should also be very mindful of the culture and norms of the patients we are visiting. Due to overzealousness of implementing the Sunnah, we might end up causing more harm than good.
Therefore, one needs to take into consideration the sensitivity that may revolve around visiting certain individuals and applying some of the above Sunnahs on them.
For instance, when visiting new Muslims, they may not appreciate being touched or being wiped over when reciting verses of the Qur’ān.
Likewise, when visiting non-Mahram relatives, proper hijab, right to privacy, no physical contact, and ensuring there is no seclusion needs to be kept in mind and respected by everyone.
Conclusion
In summary, all of the etiquettes should centre around what is in the best interest (maslahah) of the patient.
Some of the most important aims and objectives of the visit should be realised, such as giving comfort, company, support, alleviating loneliness and isolation, and leaving them in a better mental and emotional state than when they were visited.
We ask Allah through His Beautiful Names to shower us all and our loved ones with His Mercy, Forgiveness, Compassion, Love, and Cure.
May He grant us the ability to endure all of our hardships with patience, reliance, and firm belief, expecting a full and complete reward from Him in this world and the Hereafter.
Action points
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See your sick loved ones often, to reinforce bonds and provide comfort and support.
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Look out especially for those who may not have the blessing of family or friends; your reward may be even greater!
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Copy the Prophet ﷺ in his compassionate approach; offer practical help, prayers, and respect cultural sensitivities.
Source: Islam21c
Notes
[1] Muwatta Imam Mālik, 562
[2] Sahīh Muslim, 2,699; https://sunnah.com/muslim:2699
[3] Sahīh al-Bukhārī, 897
[4] Sahīh al-Bukhārī, 1,240; https://sunnah.com/bukhari:1240
[5] Mawsū’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 31/76-77
[6] Imam Bukhārī; Ibn al-Jawzī; Ibn Taymiyyah
[7]
- Visiting Abu Tālib — Sahīh al-Bukhārī, 3,884
- Visiting the young Jewish boy — Sahīh al-Bukhāri, 1,356
- Visiting a nomad — Sahīh al-Bukhārī, 3,616
[8] Sharh Mumti’ of al-Uthaymeen, 5/304
[9] Abu Dāwūd, 3,102
[10] The Prophet ﷺ visited Jābir (radiy Allahu ‘anhu) while he was completely unconscious — Sahīh al-Bukhārī, 5,651
[11] Fath al-Bāri, 17/378
[12] al-Adāb al-Mufrad, 522
[13] Musnad Ahmad, 754; similar narration in al-Tirmidhi, 969
[14] al-Adāb al-Mufrad, 518:
“Visit the sick and follow the janā’iz, it will remind you of the Akhirah.”
[15] al-Tirmidhi, 3,432, hadīth hasan gharīb
[16] Tamhīd of Ibn Abdul Barr, 1/197:
“There is no difference amongst the scholars and the wise (al-Hukamā) that the sunnah in visiting the sick is to keep it light.”
[17] al-Majmū’ of al-Nawawī, 5/112; al-Furū’ of Ibn Muflih, 3/254
[18] al-Qur’ān, 68:4
[19] Sahīh al-Bukhārī, 3,616
[20] Zād al-Ma’ād, 1/633
[21] Abu Dāwūd, 3,104
[22] Sahīh al-Bukhārī, 5,743; Sahīh Muslim, 2,191
[23] Sahīh Muslim, 1,628
[24] Abu Dāwūd, 3,106
[25] Sahīh al-Bukhāri, 5,736
[26] Sahīh al-Bukhāri, 1,295; Sahīh Muslim, 1,628
[27] Sahīh Muslim, 925:
Abdullah ibn Umar (radiy Allahu ‘anhu) reported,
“While we were sitting with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, a man from the Ansār came and greeted him and then turned back.
“The Messenger of Allah ﷺ then said,
‘O Brother of Ansar, how is my brother Sa’d ibn Ubadah?’
“The man replied that he is sālih (not well).
“The Messenger of Allah ﷺ then said,
‘Who from amongst you would like to visit him?’
“He ﷺ then stood up and we stood up with him, and we were between ten and twenty in number.'”
