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Domestic Violence: Ending the Silence

‘Domestic violence’ is a term used to describe aggressive, oppressive and ‘dominant’ behaviour adopted by one individual over a fellow human being. This behaviour occurs in families and relationships around the world and across cultures, religions, and race.

Domestic violence manifests itself in various forms – most frequently as physical violence – but can also present itself as emotional abuse and financial abuse. Although it is suffered by both men and women, the majority of the victims are women. In fact, many sufferers fear for the security of their lives, and are hesitant to come forward as a result.

Considering this problem, many cases of domestic violence consequently remain unnoticed or unreported. However the Home Office and other researchers have conducted investigations to obtain an idea of the actual figures. Some of the findings are as follows:

  1. 16% to 25% of all recorded violent crimes are classified as forms of domestic violence (Dodd et al, 2004).
  2. Stanko (2000) found that police in the UK receive a call regarding domestic violence every minute. This amounts to over 570,000 calls per year – 89% of which are made by women.
  3. Furthermore, only 23% – 35% (Home Office, 2002) of actual domestic violence matters are reported to the police (Walby & Allen, 2004).

The last statistic which is clearly worrying, is one barrier that is found in the Muslim community. Many Muslims fear that simply by admitting domestic violence exists in their communities, this will lead the West to believe that Islam is a ‘violent religion that oppresses women’. However the reality is that domestic violence is a universal problem amongst all faiths. Therefore, we cannot let victims in our own communities suffer in silence; denial is simply hypocritical. If we know we can potentially help alleviate a torment (i.e. by reporting it), but we do not help to alleviate it, we become one of the tormentors. Therefore we need to educate ourselves of the reality of domestic violence.

However at the same time, there are two false impressions people have of the Muslim community:

  1. Firstly, that domestic violence is more common in the Muslim community than in any other religious community
  2. Secondly, that such violence is tolerable in Islam.

The first false impression can be refuted by statistics, which have shown that – in the United States alone – three women are killed each day on average by their intimate partners. Therefore the problem is clearly an epidemic across all faiths, and not more so in one over the other.

As for the second false impression (that Islam accepts domestic violence), scriptural evidence proves otherwise. The Qur’an and the Hadith clearly show that Islam not only condemns violence, but consistently places a high value on maintaining a peaceful family life. We know that – regardless of religious, ethnic, racial and socio-economic classes – domestic violence will always occur. However the rulings of Islamic scholars have constantly conveyed how Islam condemns the abuse of women. It raises the woman to be the epitome of society. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is also the perfect example of how to treat women, as he treated his wives in such a manner that each of them felt they were his most beloved.

In spite of the Islamic condemnations of domestic violence, many Muslims incorrectly think that Islam permits acts of domestic violence. Their excuse is that they refer to what is known as an often misunderstood verse in the Qur’an (Surah Nisaa, v. 34). They wrongly interpret this verse to give them a license to use aggression against their wives.

This incorrect approach is a result of numerous factors, including: cultural norms, historical practices, and a lack of knowledge of scriptural interpretations. There are two categories of guilty people. Firstly, the ones who inflict the physical and mental abuse; (in most cases, the father or husband), and secondly, those who try to hide the fact that people belonging to the first category actually exist. It is naive at best (and irresponsible at worst), to claim that domestic violence does not exist in our communities. This taboo subject has long awaited attention, particularly in the Muslim community.

However this is a problem that Nour-Domestic Violence (NDV) has decided to take on. NDV is a non-profit organisation that has been established to help raise awareness, and to aid the voiceless suffering from domestic violence. It has a strong Islamic ethos and uses literature based on the Qur’an and Sunnah. NDV’s main objective is to not only raise awareness of the occurrence of domestic violence, but to defeat it. NDV uses methods such as campaigning, hosting informative events and workshops to raise awareness. The organisation also aims to help victims of domestic violence by encouraging sufferers to come forward and break the silence.

Currently NDV provides access to various qualified and experienced professionals in the field such as: medical experts, counsellors and Islamic and legal advisors. In the near future, it is working towards offering a more advanced service, allowing for more intensive help for the betterment of the victims.

 

 


Notes: Muslims (and Non-Muslims) are encouraged to support this organisation by visiting the website at: Nour-dv.org.uk. By having an understanding of these services, Muslims are equipped with the right tools to help those around them who may be suffering from domestic violence. Anyone wishing to get involved can also do so via the website.

Islam21c requests all the readers of this article, and others, to share it on your facebook, twitter, and other platforms to further spread our efforts.

 

About Kelli Uddin

22 comments

  1. I would like to congratulate Lauren Booth on embracing the universal faith of Islam. Having travelled the world, having moved in political circles, having dealt at first hand with the media sector, she concluded that Islam is the true way of life. She is happy to commend it to her fellow country men/ women of England as the way forward to secure its economic, military, social, political gains of the past.

    • I had a interesting conversation with my wife the other day regarding issues like this. It is true that the west’s idea is to allow us to intergrate so much that one day us muslims are trapped into riba, fornication, drinking etc., just like how we were destroyed in Spain etc. To cut a long story short, during an incredibly stressful period in my life and the interference of my in-laws, my marriage was being affected. Hand on my heart, it was her brothers and sisters that caused so much conflicts and made me feel so uncomfortable in the marriage, which meant there were constant arguments and bickering and there was immense tension. I kept reminding the wife that her brothers and sisters are causing so much friction, but naturally, she wouldn’t agree (why would she, she was brought up with them and considered they couldn’t do any wrong). It came to such a situation, it was getting unbearable for me and my wife to even look each other in the face. Events took place and she went to the GP. The GP sent her comments to Social Services and they’ve been on our backs for a year now. They’re only involved as there are children involved, otherwise they wouldn’t care what was going on. As it is, she told Social Services and the GP a pack of lies and exaggerated things in places. Which meant, SS were investigating a case of abuse. When they visited me on various occasions, they were coming out with stuff I never imagined. I realised these were all fabrications. I told SS to take my case to a higher authority and interrogate me, as the truth would be out. Anyway, they must have had a feeling that my wife exaggerated a lot of the stuff and gone easy on me. They put certain conditions I would have to abide by, such as me being nice to her brothers and sisters and me giving in to whatever she asks for. My response was. If you think i’m a bad husband or bad father, don’t hang about and take them away from me. As it is, they admitted the level of concern is so minimal and that they believe its a case of us banging our heads together and realising there are kids involved. I keep saying, I agree, kids are involved, so she shouldn’t behave the way she is. Things have calmed down since they’ve been visting her. I stand my ground with those lot, as I want to live in an Islamic environment at home, and not one that I see the west has adopted, such as the me being a slave at home and in fear of what phone call might be made next to the social services. I have told my wife, I fear Allah alone and no social services or police are a bother to me. Told her, so what if I lose contact with my kids or lose the house. I came with nothing, I leave with nothing. As it is, if she has the house, it will only get passed on to my kids, which is what i’d be doing anyway. So why am I bothered. At least this way, I wouldn’t have to spend time with her brothers and sisters who have interfered so much in our marriage, it has wrecked it. One of the comments is excellent below, where it says, the only thing in a relationship which is abuse is, the fact that the wife believes she can pick up the phone, call the police and exaggerate about what happened, not fearing Allah. My advice to wives out there is, Wives out there who go against the Quran, which states do not take the non-believers as your supporters, and make up lies – Us, Allah fearing husbands don’t give a hoot, as fearing Allah has more power than Social Services, and we will root out the lies and evil. Sorry to be passionate about this, but when you actually live through it and become a victim of lies and accusation, you realise WHO YOU REALLY MARRIED. At the end of the day, your wife will side with her family and let you go, that’s because that is exactly what they are teaching her, so they can build up their empire and have their sister returned. They don’t care about the husband. Anyway, my story is, its more peaceful at home since I showed her verses of the quran and explained where I stand and exposed her lies and deception. But, i’m not going to sleep with both eyes shut, if that’s what you ask. I still watch my back and am waiting for the next plan they cook up. Of course, if your husband is beating you, you really should stand for it, and yes, there is no excuse for it. Marriage should be entertained as relationships, where both husband and wife love each other. Be silly and do silly things like you are in love, it really enhances the relationship. MY wife has taken years to really understand me and what I wanted. All along, her interest was only in what her brothers and sisters wanted. As the connection between me and my wife is a lot stronger, I have noticed she has (by herself) lessened her contact with them, so we are going from strength to strength. I hope, inshallah it gets stronger, but like I say, humans are so unpredictable. Like someone said to me once, he didn’t know his wife until she went to her solicitors. He then realised what she was ( I won’t repeat the words he used for her). But I hear similar stories. I know one really genuine guy who got annoyed with his wife, so it got heated. He may have hit or something. She got the police involved and stuff. He’s now returned to the home. However, all I see in the streets now is, her giving him a good earful and him just taking it all in. His hair has gone from black to white in a year. Poor bloke, I really feel sorry for the outcome, but she gives it to him proper. Now, there was no need to reverse the roles. All what was needed was to be sweet with each other. So, wives out there, just understand what you want from a marriage and realise, you can get it, but you need to work at what he wants. Equally, husbands out there, your wives are not slaves and do have a life and want to feel special. Don’t think I have spent time attacking women, but my story is, lies were made about me and I am furious, along with looking around me and seeing very similar examples. If you don’t like who you are married to, get out of there. You only live once and take each day as your last. Enjoy today !! as it could be your last . Don’t sit in silence. Husband and wives, you both eat from the same tree and breath the same air, so you both are entitled to the same enjoyment of life. And, get those pesky in-laws out of your life if they are not there to keep you 2 happy !!

  2. Congratulations to all those western women who understood the limitations of living a life distant from God and his illustrious messengers and accordingly embraced God’s invite.

  3. ‘there are two false impressions people have of the Muslim community’
    could be reworded to:
    ‘there are two false impressions SOME people have of the Muslim community’

  4. maurice watts

    mr.
    The reason this is happening is because the Muslims have let go of the rope that Allah extends to us because Holy Quran makes MEN responsible for women. So the men in her family are responsible for dealing with abuse when they become aware. In the case of no male relatives then the Imam of the Masjid she is attached to or her shaikh is responsible. Bottom line men must intervene on behalf of women, because of the degree Allah has given them over women. Did Nabi Rasuli Akram (saw) or the Salsf As Saliheen (ra) abuse their wives? I don’t think so. Real men don’t abuse their wives!

    • Look Maurice some women need a good slap. We men are living in an age where we are being torn apart by the opposite sex. Some think they are equals or even above men, and expect everyone to tow the victim line of domestic abuse.

  5. maurice watts

    mister
    The reason this is happening is because the Muslims have let go of the rope that Allah extends to us because Holy Quran makes MEN responsible for women. So the men in her family are responsible for dealing with abuse when they become aware. In the case of no male relatives then the Imam of the Masjid she is attached to or her shaikh is responsible. Bottom line men must intervene on behalf of women, because of the degree Allah has given them over women. Did Nabi Rasuli Akram (saw) or the Salsf As Saliheen (ra) abuse their wives? I don’t think so. Real men don’t abuse their wives!

  6. i can’t believe this.
    when the book of Allah is not followed and people dismiss hadiths as some writing of selfish men for their own needs!! who is this sister zainab, the reject what the imams like Buckari and Muslim, along with other scholars who dedicate their lives so we can get the right information about this religion? the Quran gives the ruling and huduud but doesn’t explain in detail. how do you know how to perform hajj,make wudhu,perform the janaaza,how to make ghusle,how many rakaa in each prayer,what to recite,what to do when you make a mistake and countless others and people want to reject hadiths? and there is a hadith wich the prophet(saw)said”he is not from us the one who is a beast to his wife and wants to go to her at night”. Allah said in the Quran the some ayats are plain and others not so, those who have a diseas in their harts look to find meanings for these ayaats.he also said he sent the quran and the wisdom. we need to learn about our religion because this ummah is in a weak state and turn back to Allah. from personal experience i know that hurting another human being is wrong and violence and anger is just the footsteps of the devil.my dua goes out to all the sisters who are abused and the brothers also. let us remember that eeman and steadfastness is the cure for many of our problems today in the ummah. salaamualaykum

  7. Miss
    AlHumdulilLaah the article is a poignant one, some of the comments however, are shocking. Yes we are all very aware of the issue about men abusing women and yes some of you have touched on the fact that women abuse men – but how many people actually realise the severity of it all? There are so many support systems in place to help women and even children who are abused, these days we are also seeing support available for abuse against the elderly, and while I do acknowledge that there are a few places that aim to help male victims, I can assure you that this is simply not enough! Women DO abuse the men and children in their families, and they DO abuse the system. Yes men may well often be the perpetrators of DV but that doesn’t give the world the excuse to brush THEIR victimisation under the carpet. I used to be so infuriated by “all the things men do against women” (including some people preventing us from going to the mosque – which of course still drives me nuts) but these days, after witnessing and experiencing DV at the hands of my now ex sister-in-law (she repeatedly abused my brother and parents while living with them and now, having obtained Khulla through the courts by claiming that my brother was the abuser, still continues to abuse the children in her separate house), I am very pro men’s rights and try to do what I can to make these issues known. DV is certainly a subject I am VERY passionate about and hate the fact that people think it’s “just silly” to say that men are ABUSED by their wives or that they should “suck it up and be a man – after all she’s just a little woman”. Seriously, I’M a “little woman”, I mean I’m short and look fairly childlike at times, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t do some damage if needs be (I do security by the way) and I know for a fact that there are PLENTY of women out there who are similar in appearance and they know it… so they use it. Except these are the women who actually DO the damage. By AlLaah’s blessings I am not a violent person, so I know that being ABLE to hurt someone doesn’t mean that I ought to, just because I can. Why do people not realise that COMMUNICATION and UNDERSTANDING is the key to getting ahead in ANY situation; whether it be marriage, work, or a simple discussion about what toy to get. Violence is NOT THE ANSWER! Throwing a tantrum (which is essentially where DV spikes from) will not help you achieve what you ultimately want! You may get the house or the car (or the toy) but what’s the point if everyone’s angry or upset or bleeding in a corner?
    Sorry I realise this has turned into a bit of a rant, and there were other points I had wanted to make, but I think I should stop now and give your collective eyes a rest 🙂
    All I will say at this point is that we need to discuss these evils in our world, in a clear and open manner; this is the only way to get ahead and help to resolve the issue of DV and indeed any other pressing matters. We should seek to help our communities progress with the assistance and guidance of the Qur’aan and Sunnah, we should use the Ahadeeth to help us get further depth, and we should use our collective knowledge to teach others how to become better Muslims InshaAlLaah.
    Sorry it’s so long. JazakalLaah Khair

  8. Miss
    AlHumdulilLaah the article is a poignant one, some of the comments however, are shocking. Yes we are all very aware of the issue about men abusing women and yes some of you have touched on the fact that women abuse men – but how many people actually realise the severity of it all? There are so many support systems in place to help women and even children who are abused, these days we are also seeing support available for abuse against the elderly, and while I do acknowledge that there are a few places that aim to help male victims, I can assure you that this is simply not enough! Women DO abuse the men and children in their families, and they DO abuse the system. Yes men may well often be the perpetrators of DV but that doesn’t give the world the excuse to brush THEIR victimisation under the carpet. I used to be so infuriated by “all the things men do against women” (including some people preventing us from going to the mosque – which of course still drives me nuts) but these days, after witnessing and experiencing DV at the hands of my now ex sister-in-law (she repeatedly abused my brother and parents while living with them and now, having obtained Khulla through the courts by claiming that my brother was the abuser, still continues to abuse the children in her separate house), I am very pro men’s rights and try to do what I can to make these issues known. DV is certainly a subject I am VERY passionate about and hate the fact that people think it’s “just silly” to say that men are ABUSED by their wives or that they should “suck it up and be a man – after all she’s just a little woman”. Seriously, I’M a “little woman”, I mean I’m short and look fairly childlike at times, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t do some damage if needs be (I do security by the way) and I know for a fact that there are PLENTY of women out there who are similar in appearance and they know it… so they use it. Except these are the women who actually DO the damage. By AlLaah’s blessings I am not a violent person, so I know that being ABLE to hurt someone doesn’t mean that I ought to, just because I can. Why do people not realise that COMMUNICATION and UNDERSTANDING is the key to getting ahead in ANY situation; whether it be marriage, work, or a simple discussion about what toy to get. Violence is NOT THE ANSWER! Throwing a tantrum (which is essentially where DV spikes from) will not help you achieve what you ultimately want! You may get the house or the car (or the toy) but what’s the point if everyone’s angry or upset or bleeding in a corner?
    Sorry I realise this has turned into a bit of a rant, and there were other points I had wanted to make, but I think I should stop now and give your collective eyes a rest 🙂
    All I will say at this point is that we need to discuss these evils in our world, in a clear and open manner; this is the only way to get ahead and help to resolve the issue of DV and indeed any other pressing matters. We should seek to help our communities progress with the assistance and guidance of the Qur’aan and Sunnah, we should use the Ahadeeth to help us get further depth, and we should use our collective knowledge to teach others how to become better Muslims InshaAlLaah.
    Sorry it’s so long. JazakalLaah Khair

    • Mother’s and Sisters should realise one day they might have a son or have a brother who could be facing trials from their partner. And should note their dearest sons and brothers:

      1. Men wont report abuse to authorities (article stats is flawed)
      2. Men will suffer alone
      3. Men have no support group
      4. Men are better at controlling emotions and be patient, Allah wisely gave the authority of talaq to them, if women had it there would be a talaq epidemic
      5. Women like to talk and exaggerate while men will pretend to stay quiet
      6. Men will look to Islam for solution but some women will look to police.
      7. Men are controlled by women thru kids

  9. It happens to men much more in the UK
    As.sallam alaykum,

    The abuse that is define as ” Domestic violence’ is a term used to describe aggressive, oppressive and ‘dominant’ behaviour adopted by one individual over a fellow human being.” is enough to show that Knowledge should proceed speech and action.
    The fact is brothers and sisters; that one partners dominance over another is only abuse when it exceeds the bounds of Islam. Hence I say this happens in the UK far greater to men than to Muslim women.

    How often do we know of men who are silent in the face of increasingly unislamic behaviour that exhibits itself in a dominance within the affairs of the home and the children. Most often backed by the threat of divorce and taking the children away from their father.
    Moreover it is the women of the Muslim community who have taken to excesses such as abandonment of rights and in many cases involving the authorities against those Allah has put over the women as custodians, protectors and helpers.

    I pray that the one who wrote this and others reading this, will be honest and come out against this tyranny that has afflicted the muslims in the UK, particularly the non cultural sunnis, who isolated and left unprotected by the secular laws most often hold on through the abuse rampant from our sisters because of their belief in the law of the Qur’an and Sunnah, their adherence to the way of Muhammad and their knowledge that the abuse will merely shift to their children once they are gone.

    This article needs thoroughly reviewing and should be backed up with both Ayah and Quran and the explanations of the Scholars. As its stands it’s merely a white wash of the true reality and a stereotypical view of whats wrong in the homes of the Muslims in the UK.

    From what is known and experienced but seldom dealt with or spoken about…. that men are being cast out from their homes and their children’s lives and Muslim women have become shamefully an instrument of teh downfall of the Muslim community in the UK.

    One anecdotal evidence I supply is this

    A wife went off complaining to her mother and aunt that she was being treated badly or unhappy with her marriage. The mother sat her youngest daughter down and asked her what was the matter

    Does he beat you?

    no came the answer

    Does he not house you…
    Again no was the answer , rather he works hard to provide for us with a modest wage the best he can

    Does he not feed you what he eats/
    Again the daughter had to speak the truth and say that rather the majority of his wealth he spends on the family to make sure that they ate well.

    So came then came the mothers last question… What is the complaint?

    She said ” he has sworn that should I divorce him he will fight it and should I want to divorce he will refuse to allow me to keep the children. ”

    ( however she knew that under Islamic law he had a right to this should she remarry and she also intended to use the Uk secular authorities to ensure that she would keep them away from their father and with her though this was exceeding what Islam allowed.)

    The mother and aunty said to the daughter if he wished to take these children this is his right.

    This is a true narration and indeed it shows the abuse that is common is based around not adhering to the higher laws Islam. This true story is common place in the sunni community today especially among the diaspora from east African Muslim communities and the many reverted families that now exist. What it highlights also is that the educated daughter didn’t know what the she had been raised upon, those Islamic principles that her mother and aunt knew well, the obligations of the husband and father to his family but more significantly the daughter had missed totally her obligation towards the family and her husband and thought only how to ensure she got what she wanted.

    Extremely important for us to note is that the ahaddeeth in support of both the mothers reaction and in negation of the daughters position against her husband are many as are the ayat. To avoid a lengthy piece i have omitted them but should there be a need to provide evidence then it can be done.

  10. I have found some of the comments made here quite interesting, informative and othrs a little naive and ‘hopeful’. The fact that domestic abuse has been inflicted against women for many years and they have remained within this situation for numerous amount of years should suggest to some the difficulties (and impossibility)of women escaping or seeking assistance. Many families will not address the issue with the male perpertrator and instead will increase women’s suffering by informing her to be patient and using excuses such as it is within a mans nature etc or do not want to disclose it due to the fear of their ‘izzat’ being tarnished.

    Outside agencies is at times the only way a woman can seek help and often it is when things have got too mucvh to handle rather than a ‘excuse’ to call the police. Whilst i recognise their are male victims of abuse this is no where at the scale of that which is inflicted on females by men (and the impact is not completely the same) and this is because society be it here in Britain or globally, is mainly a patriachial one which influences mean and women to continue to behave or endure in accordance to what is ‘expected’ of their roles within culture and not so much their religion.

  11. Zaynub & Ali Bappu
    Strange that Allah (swt) gives permission to husbands to ‘hit’/’beat’/’smack’ their wives (see Suran Nisaa) if they overly misbehave. Anyone who reads this verse would most likely understand it to mean that the husband can go into the shed, pull out his boxing gloves and lay one on his wife…

    It is rather the hadith that give us a brilliant understanding of how the verse of Qur’an is implemented – and that, if it ever came to the stage where a husband needed to show his ‘discontent’ with his wife by ‘hitting’ her, the prophet (saw) gave us (in the hadith literature) guidelines (you cannot hit faces, leave marks etc…). Without this, the door is open for a real beating!

    ————————————–

    To those of you who reject hadith, or believe that the books of hadith are man made, done by men to benefit themselves – then please read some books on the science of hadith so that you may learn that this is not the case.

  12. True find
    Salamun alaikum,I agree Zainab’s words.Accept Qraan,hadeeths keep aside.

  13. victim
    Masha’Allah great article, may Allah reward you for highlighting such an silenced issue. Hamdulillah for NDV it’s a much needed service and I pray people make use of it.

    There was a study not long ago which showed in most cases women will stay in abusive relationship for 15-20 years before they’ve “had enough” and will do something about it.

  14. Victim of Women Domestic Voilence

    What about domestic voilence against MEN?
    I am a victim of female domestic voilence. You would be surprised how many men are in my situation (1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men).Not much difference.There are about 450 women refuges in the UK and growing but only 40 for men.

    While domestic voilence against women is considered BAD, it is considered funny when committed by women. Feminist organisations exist to exploit the resources and have effectively become FEMINAZIs. I suggest the readers and the writer do a bit of their own research to understand the full scale of abuse by women.

    • Another male victim

      This. Also, this issue is laughed at and ignored by our esteemed Ulama and students of knowledge. A man being abused by a woman? Really?

      Yes. It does happen. It is real. And we don’t have anyone to turn to except Allah.

  15. Domestic Violence: Ending the Silence
    Good article. Indeed domestic violence is widely prevalent around the globe and in reality, more widespread in non-Muslim circles.

    The reason for domestic violence to be found in certain Muslim households too has some different reasons which haven’t been highlighted by the author here. Thus, let us not be silence about that either.

    Indeed, very true that the Noble Quran has flatly prohibited any such dominating attitude by men toward their spouses.

    But the man-written & highly controversial Hadith is quite a different story. We all know that 99% of the Ahadith we see today are NOT the sayings of our beloved Prophet (S) but simply the words of later time commoners (including the imams and so-called ulemas) to promote their selfish values – political, social, moral and legal. Also, the entire Hadith literature is in a mess .. big time! That’s because new forgeries keep creeping in and infiltrating into the various Hadith collections every generation. Some of these Ahadith sound decent and speak against male dominance & domestic violence. But not all. Many Ahadith are absolutely obnoxious, misogynistic and highly sexist. They not only promote the idea of a male dominating household but also give crazy ideas into the minds of misogynists to exacerbate such behavior. As if the offensive Ahadith that rules the minds of many Muslims aren’t enough as a huge drawback, these are backed up by offensive fatwas too by many of our firebrand imams.

    Therefore, the author must know, no matter how objectionable this might sound to the present mainstream Muslims, they must abandon these false annexations that today present the face of Islam to the world and provide excuses to the male jerks of the Muslim community to carry out their domestic abuse unhindered.

    If we want to eradicate domestic violence and so many other un-Islamic practices that have evolved gradually, we MUST trash all man-written nonsense and return to the Divine Final Message of Allah Almighty. The Noble Quran is a Standalone and Independent Book. Unfortunately, the bad & false ahadith and those many terrible fatwas by manipulative & misogynistic imams are the chief causes of promoting domestic violence and intolerance in Muslim households.

    To the author and all Muslims: Please do NOT be silence on this issue if you really want to help your community. How can the help come if you don’t speak about uprooting the source of that scourge? Return to the Noble Quran alone, and trash all man-written writings and fatwas.

  16. Domestic Violence: Ending the Silence
    Good article. Indeed domestic violence is widely prevalent around the globe and in reality, more widespread in non-Muslim circles.

    The reason for domestic violence to be found in certain Muslim households too has some different reasons which haven’t been highlighted by the author here. Thus, let us not be silence about that either.

    Indeed, very true that the Noble Quran has flatly prohibited any such dominating attitude by men toward their spouses.

    But the man-written & highly controversial Hadith is quite a different story. We all know that 99% of the Ahadith we see today are NOT the sayings of our beloved Prophet (S) but simply the words of later time commoners (including the imams and so-called ulemas) to promote their selfish values – political, social, moral and legal. Also, the entire Hadith literature is in a mess .. big time! That’s because new forgeries keep creeping in and infiltrating into the various Hadith collections every generation. Some of these Ahadith sound decent and speak against male dominance & domestic violence. But not all. Many Ahadith are absolutely obnoxious, misogynistic and highly sexist. They not only promote the idea of a male dominating household but also give crazy ideas into the minds of misogynists to exacerbate such behavior. As if the offensive Ahadith that rules the minds of many Muslims aren’t enough as a huge drawback, these are backed up by offensive fatwas too by many of our firebrand imams.

    Therefore, the author must know, no matter how objectionable this might sound to the present mainstream Muslims, they must abandon these false annexations that today present the face of Islam to the world and provide excuses to the male jerks of the Muslim community to carry out their domestic abuse unhindered.

    If we want to eradicate domestic violence and so many other un-Islamic practices that have evolved gradually, we MUST trash all man-written nonsense and return to the Divine Final Message of Allah Almighty. The Noble Quran is a Standalone and Independent Book. Unfortunately, the bad & false ahadith and those many terrible fatwas by manipulative & misogynistic imams are the chief causes of promoting domestic violence and intolerance in Muslim households.

    To the author and all Muslims: Please do NOT be silence on this issue if you really want to help your community. How can the help come if you don’t speak about uprooting the source of that scourge? Return to the Noble Quran alone, and trash all man-written writings and fatwas.

  17. Lovetocontribute

    Abuse committed by Sister(s)
    Salaam ALYKUM

    Very articulated article, however in the UK, this system is abused by females. For example she use against her husband if he done something that doesn’t pleases her i.e. in many occasion getting married to another wive or suspicion. I dont totally disagree with this article, this article highlights some of the issues that we need to solve and overcome by openly speaking about it. However a balance can be struck, by not abusing the right that you have and ruin the family life….perhaps we should speak also about the roles of the parents, relativeIs and community leader in dealing with this issue..

    Jazakallah khayra and may Allah increase you Hasanaat..

    W/salaam

  18. Salaamu alaikum. This is an interesting article and inshaAllah one that enlightens Muslims and non-Muslims alike. Although, I feel it could be more beneficial to include the verses in the Quran and hadith which explicitly state that domestic violence is unacceptable in Islam.

    Likewise, some maybe unaware of the chapter and verse (Surah Nisaa, v. 34) in the Qur’an so it would have been good to include it.

    I’d like to know who you’d advise domestic violence be ‘reported’ to (other than NDV). I do not believe such issues in the Muslim community should be reported to non-Muslim authorities (especially in the first instance) if necessity doesn’t warrant this. This is because its our duty to hide the faults of other Muslims and its also our obligation to assist one another in matters of dispute.

    Such issues should be resolved amongst families who should also seek help from authorities such as the Shariah Council, their Imam or qualified Muslim Councillor’s.

    Having said this, i do not say that if one fears for their life or the lives of others they should not call an ambulance or the police. Rather if the issue of domestic abuse is not life threatening, then we should seek to eradicate these matters amongst ourselves.

    In my view, most cases of domestic violence can be solved by a daily dose of Quran, regular counselling or ruqyah (if needed) and certainly be organisations such as the NDV who will help to educate Muslims on the correct Islam behaviour towards ones spouse inshaAllah.

    BarakAllahu feeki for raising awareness on the topic and Nour-domestic violence.

    Asalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu

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