There are many different ways that a person can express gratitude to Allah or to those around them. Some people prefer to actively go out and express their gratitude through physical acts. Others tend to keep their gratitude reflective and private.
Some methods work better than others and this is dependent on each person and their situation or attitude towards the being or thing they are expressing gratitude.
“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously.
“And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” [1]
Simple steps lead to bigger blessings
In everyday life, it is simply a polite habit to express thanks to people you interact with, whether they are people you are familiar with, or not.
When someone opens a door for you, or makes space whilst you are passing them, a small “thank you” not only cultivates good manners. It also acknowledges that someone did something for you that they ultimately didn’t have to!
Noting small things that others do for you
Although looking at your bigger blessings is very important, it is also just as important to focus on the smaller things that people do for you.
It is only when you focus on the small details, that you can start to appreciate the bigger picture.
Family relationships as examples
The above is particularly the case in familial relationships.
I have lost count of the number of family relationships that have been destroyed because people only see the negative in a family member, rather than acknowledging the things that they ought to express gratitude for, in that person.
If people truly took the time out to step aside and say “thank you” with an explanation of how the person helped you or made you feel, imagine the huge impact this would have?
The classic example of this would be a husband who expresses thanks for his wife’s cooking, rather than constantly griping about small things.
Or it could be a wife who thanks her husband for helping her with something; he would most likely have done what he did without the expectation of thanks anyway. But that thanks and acknowledgement makes any relationship so much sweeter and stronger.
Example of a business setting
Consider the example of a manager who writes out individual letters to his/her team to let them know how much their work has contributed to the company and how important they are to the team.
This would have a doubly positive effect.
- The manager would feel a great deal of positivity towards their team through acknowledgement that they are good workers and are making their work easier to manage.
- And the impact on the team would be great, since they would feel uplifted and appreciated because their efforts had not gone by unnoticed.
This virtuous cycle, prompted through one “small” act of gratitude, is likely to promote even greater productivity and satisfaction amongst the team in future.
The gratitude journal
Another practical gratitude exercise would be to keep a gratitude journal, where you get into a habit of noting all the good that has happened to/for you, how it made you feel, and the positive changes that you felt occurred in your life because of this.
Simply doing this once a week or once a fortnight could dramatically change your overall attitude towards everything in life.
This habit may start by listing some things that you are grateful for, such as your family, health, or your home.
Blessings have hidden associated blessings
To keep such a journal would not only help you to reflect on your blessings, but may also encourage you to consider the things attached to these blessings that are hidden blessings on their own!
For example, a person could be grateful for their children. But, in the process of expressing gratitude for them, may also consider that their children have been blessed with health, an education, a roof over their heads, and food to keep them nourished.
Once you start a gratitude journal, you will probably discover more embedded blessings that you barely considered or perhaps even took for granted.
To write down what you don’t have?
If someone finds they are struggling to note down anything they’ve been blessed with, they should exercise writing the things that they don’t have, and reflect on the blessings through this.
For example, if there is a person who is childless but desperately wants to be blessed with offspring, it may be difficult to see what blessings could be in them remaining childless.
However, if they reflect, they will probably see all the hidden blessings in this.
For instance, they might conclude that they have a lot more time to work on themselves and their personal growth. Or perhaps, because they have the extra time, they can volunteer at a local community centre and benefit many others around them.
Extracting positives from what appear negative
Trying to extract the positives from what could be seen as a negative situation not only trains the mind to focus on the bright side. It could also reduce the chances of someone falling into depression.
Consider this in light of the following statement of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:
“How wonderful the affair of the believer is!
“Indeed, all of his affairs are good for him. This is for no-one but the believer.
“If something good happens to him, he is grateful to Allah, which is good for him. And if something bad happens to him, he has patience, which is good for him.” [2]
Count what you have, not what you don’t
Although, in some cases, to note down what you do not have might allow you to recognise the associated blessings, another gratitude exercise could be to reflect during the day, and think about all that Allah has blessed you with.
Try to take time away from everything and, over the course of a few minutes, sit and reflect on what you have and how you can use this to your advantage. Reflect on how grateful you are for everything.
Having the time to sit aside from everything and focus on your thoughts and clear your mind from the hustle and bustle of looming tasks can be an extremely effective way to gain clarity in your thoughts. It can help you become more appreciative of your blessings.
“Be grateful for what you already have, while you pursue your goals.
“If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more?” [3]
Reflecting on all of these gratitude exercises illustrates some of the means through which a person can express gratitude.
From a small polite “thank you”, a quiet moment of reflection, or a letter of gratitude sent to someone, it’s possible to see how there is an opportunity for anyone — whether introverted or extroverted — to express and reflect on their blessings and convey them.
Or, at the very least, simply acknowledge them within.
Dangers of being distracted from gratitude
Hampering your success
As gratitude is such an integral part of a person’s success, we need not only to build it but to be aware of what could damage or even destroy it.
When observing a grateful believer, it is possible to see the optimism they embody in every situation. We observe how they navigate ups and downs with grace and a smile due to their firm belief that no matter what happens, it is for the best.
The opposite of this is a person who remains ungrateful. For them, negativity shrouds everything and they find something to gripe about, even in their blessings. Every up and and down feels like a calamity that will lead to the end of the world.
Letting Shaytān win
For such a person, his sworn enemy, Shaytān, overwhelms his thoughts so he remains fixated on the idea that what he has is not good enough — especially when things aren’t going his way.
By focusing on external worldly affairs, the ungrateful person often disregards the blessings they have, even those he didn’t specifically ask for.
For instance, a man may complain that he didn’t get a job that he applied for, but will ignore the fact that he, and his family, woke up in good health.
By overlooking so many of the blessings that he has been given, he focuses on that which he doesn’t have. This leads to an overwhelmed state which makes it easier for Shaytān to manipulate his thoughts and move him away from faith.
As he promised, Shaytān will attack believers from every side. He will do his utmost to distract and remove them from their faith. And one of his primary tools is making people unhappy with the condition that they are in. Despite their condition seeming excellent to others, they deem their blessings to be worthless and can’t enjoy them for a moment. What a sad and wretched state!
When Shaytān refused to obey Allah’s command to bow to Ādam (ʿalayhi al-Salām) due to pride and arrogance, he said,
“Then I will certainly come to them from before them, and from behind them, and from the right-hand side, and from the left-hand side, and You (Allah) shall find most of them ungrateful.” [4]
The challenge for each believer!
Stay away from the trap of Shaytān, so you do not fall into a state of ingratitude for all the amazing blessings that Allah has granted you — blessings you could not count, even if you tried.
Not expressing gratitude to Allah and to the people around you leads one down a dark road of depression, anxiety, and misery.
On the contrary, gratitude is one of the true hallmarks of success that leads to abundance, happiness, and true contentment in this life and the next.
Source: Islam21c
Notes
[1] https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/14132-cultivate-the-habit-of-being-grateful-for-every-good-thing
[2] Sahīh Muslim, 2,999; https://sunnah.com/muslim:2999
[3] https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7946309-be-grateful-for-what-you-already-have-while-you-pursue
[4] al-Qur’ān, 7:17
