To see a healthy 25-year-old man willingly set himself ablaze after calmly narrating his intentions on camera is content almost impossible to process the way it deserves. [1]
The way it was all planned. News agencies and others alerted. The way he walked with nothing on his person but the lighter fluid he would pour on his body. The way he deliberately wore his army fatigues so this would not be confused as a civilian act. The way he must have seen the Secret Service — stood ready — observing from a distance.
And then the eternity it seemed to take for his lighter to work.
Did his fingers tremble? Did he wonder how fast the fire would spread, what the pain would feel like? Did he research how long it would take to kill him? Did he want to ensure nobody approached him before he successfully achieved his mission and ended his life in one of the most horrifying ways possible?
Who was Aaron Bushnell?
Aaron was a serving member of the US Air Force, holding the rank of Senior Airman. He graduated from training “Top of Class” in November 2020. [2]
Close to the end of his contracted term, he was considering leaving the Air Force early, in order to take a stand against state-sponsored violence in Gaza. He ultimately decided to remain, since his term was due to expire in May regardless.
No doubt, we can predict the scramble of the retrospective news analyses. Mental health. Anarchist. Socially inept. Grew up in a Christian cult. Anything and everything but a serious look at what he could have witnessed in his time in active duty that haunted him so deeply.
What had he seen? Why did he feel so complicit? Why was he using the language of genocide, colonisers, and ruling powers without caveat or care? Could there be any validity to the cause he literally set himself on fire for?
No, his act of protest will be buried, twisted, diminished, and at best, framed as a mental health crisis. His self-immolation will be framed as a rogue act of desperation, so the question shoved in our faces shall be,
“How can we support our armed services more?”
Extremes breed extremes
In the haze of those who dare try to amplify attention towards the act, for those of us who are not demonising him as a deranged lunatic and the majority of people who simply do not concern themselves enough to know, how we view what Aaron did says a great deal.
Clearly, self-harm and ending one’s life is categorically unlawful in the Islamic sense, and there will not be any glorification of the act itself. However, the extreme, public, and traumatic nature of the act must be carefully considered.
Extremes breed extremes and obvious for all is that the horror of what he was a witness to led to the horror of his final act.
I wish Aaron knew that…
How I wish Aaron knew that this world — by default — was intended as a place of tribulation and testing. How I wish he knew that the coming of an ultimate and perfect justice is a certainty, simply because it comes from the One who has full knowledge of everything.
Every circumstance, factor, exception, and caveat.
Allah’s knowledge is so complete that it does not cover just what we did and why, but what we may have done in any other given situation.
The completeness of His justice means a redressing of all wrongs in the most perfect way. It means that those who are doomed to eternal torment absolutely understand why they are there, and have no quarrel that they deserve their final end.
I wish Aaron had drawn on the otherworldly level of resilience and faith that the people of Gaza have displayed to the world. I wish he had tapped into the question of what it was that leads these people to cry out in praise of Allah when they have lost children, life, limb, and every beloved thing.
I wish Aaron knew that our role in this world is to raise our voices for justice, while knowing that the ultimate outcome is only by His Permission. I wish Aaron knew that we must trust the process and that it is that very process that we are going to be judged on. I wish Aaron knew we have a framework, a blueprint, a means of aiding others and it being on us to be involved, even if we never see the outcome.
I wish Aaron knew that those whose souls have left Gaza as martyrs would never wish to return to this world and instead, only regret that they cannot be martyred again. I wish Aaron knew that the soul of every person in Gaza — just like the souls of the people of East Turkestan, Syria, Kashmir, the Congo, Sudan, Afghanistan, Iraq, Myanmar, and all people — was created by One whose love cannot be quantified.
I wish Aaron knew He has a Lord who avenges on behalf of those who are oppressed. I wish Aaron knew that the people most despised by Allah are allowed to not only continue but increase in their savagery, so that their punishment will be increased for them.
I wish Aaron knew that this life — though obscene, bloody, brutal, and painful — is the drop of water that leaves your finger when you dip it into the ocean.
I wish Aaron knew there was a way to find peace, even within the horrors of what is being inflicted upon us in real time. I wish Aaron knew that peace is active, that patience is active, that the fight is long. I wish Aaron knew that it is not a contradiction to use our lives advocating for justice and change, while being patient and accepting in the decree of Allah when we do not see the immediate outcome of our efforts.
I wish Aaron knew there was a place for his compassion, his solidarity, his all-consuming rage at the mere mention of genocide. I wish Aaron knew there was a better way, and that way would have started with knowing Allah and the reality of this life and the next.
Allah is both the Most Just and the Most Merciful, and in the complex layers of this act of yours, I trust that He is the only One to handle your soul as it has now returned to Him.
May Allah guide us to compassion, advocacy, and the fight for justice as it pleases Him. Amīn.
Source: Islam21c
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