Dutifulness to Parents in Old Age

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Contents

After Tawhīd is to respect one’s parents Action plan Coming up

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You know, as we progress in our education, get promoted in our workplaces, and work tirelessly to provide for our families, we tend to undermine the colossal struggles our parents endured for us, whilst they toiled to provide us with the best possible upbringing.

In this light, the Qur’ān repeatedly prompts us to display obedience and compassion to our parents – particularly when they reach an age of vulnerability and weakness.

Allah says in Surat al-Isrāʾ,

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوۤا۟ إِلَّاۤ إِیَّاهُ وَبِٱلۡوَ ٰ⁠لِدَیۡنِ إِحۡسَـٰنًاۚ إِمَّا یَبۡلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلۡكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَاۤ أَوۡ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَاۤ أُفࣲّ وَلَا تَنۡهَرۡهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوۡلࣰا كَرِیمࣰا

“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and do good to parents. If any one of them or both reach old age, do not say to them: ‘ugh’ (a word or expression of anger or contempt) and do not scold them, and address them with respectful words.” [1]

After Tawhīd is to respect one’s parents

The most explicit indication of parents having tremendous rights upon their children – in their old age – is the sequence of the above verse.

After Allah expressed the binding obligation of worshipping Him alone (Tawhīd), He subsequently instructed all of mankind to display good conduct to parents!

And even though this verse sternly warns us from even saying ugh to our parents, in acknowledgment of the selfless sacrifices they have made for us, we must honestly ask ourselves: haven’t we unintentionally said much worse to them then ugh?

When was the last time we contemplated the strenuous challenges that our parents faced whilst raising us?
How often do we remind ourselves that our parents lovingly taught us how to walk, eat, and speak?

al-Rāzi, a renowned exegetist (scholar of tafsīr), summarised the implied meaning of the verse in a sentence:

فَثَبَتَ أنَّهُ لَيْسَ لِأحَدٍ مِنَ المَخْلُوقِينَ نِعْمَةٌ عَلى غَيْرِهِ مِثْلَ ما لِلْوالِدَيْنِ عَلى الوَلَدِ

“It’s become evident (from this verse) that nobody is indebted to any other person, the way a child is indebted to his parents.” [2]

Action plan

Considering that we are now in the first full day of Ramadan, there couldn’t possibly be a more suitable occasion for us to display appreciation and kindness to our parents.

Here are a few small but rewarding steps we can take during this noble month, to become more obedient towards our parents:

When cooking for Iftar, put aside some food for our parents and hand it to them in person;
Utilise Ramadan to visit them regularly and provide them with company;
Make them feel valued through regularly expressing our appreciation towards them for everything they’ve done for us throughout our lives.