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We all have people in our lives who have a special place in our hearts; people we immeasurably value and cherish, irrespective of how often we meet them. However, the more we progress in our lives, the less time we find to check up on them. As a result, those meaningful relations gradually begin to weaken and wither. And sometimes, bitterness and malice fill the very void that this neglect slowly created.
Gifts breed love
For this very reason, the Prophet (ﷺ) would regularly urge the companions to give gifts to one another – even if they did not possess measures of wealth.
تَهَادُوا تَحَابُّوا
“Give each other gifts and you will grow to love each other.” [1]
This report provides us with a prophetic method to effectively maintain long-term relations whilst removing potential resentment that may have developed over time.
How far are we willing to go?
Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal was once asked about a poor man who tirelessly tried to preserve his relations with family, friends, and peers.
The questioner said,
أي شيء تقول في رجل ليس عنده شيء، وله قرابة لهم وليمة؟
“What would you advise a man, who’s been invited to a Walīmah by relatives, but he isn’t financially capable of giving them a gift?”
The questioner then went on to ask,
ترى أن يستقرض ويهدي لهم؟
“Do you think he should borrow money and provide them with a gift?”
To which Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal said without hesitation,
نعم
“Yes!” [2]
Action plan
Considering that we are in the month of giving, Ramadan, it is the perfect time to try and revive our relations with those we love through selflessly giving them gifts.
Here are a few things we can do to incorporate the above:
- Make a list of the people we haven’t checked up on for some time, and offer them fitting gifts for the coming Eid;
- If some of us aren’t financially able to do the above, remember that it’s the thought that counts; a box of chocolates can go a long way!
Coming up
As we make efforts to choose fitting gifts for family and friends, let’s not forget about Part 15 of the series: uttering a kind word.
In the upcoming article, we will discuss the power of a thoughtful word. Do you convey often kind words to others?
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Source: Islam21c
Notes
[1] al-Adāb al-Mufrad: 594
[2] al-Jāmi li-Ulūm al-Imam Ahmad (10/ 268)